Irresistible

"Irresistible" is the third episode of the third season of Stargate: Atlantis.

Synopsis
The Atlantis expedition encounter Lucius Lavin, a highly obnoxious man, but everyone in his village seems to love him. After visiting Atlantis, Dr. Rodney McKay and Lt. Colonel John Sheppard notice that everyone in the city is starting to fall for him, and it is up to them to figure out why.

Plot
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard's team encounters a man called Lucius Lavin on an unexplored planet. He lives in a community where everyone seems to like him and he is the center of all attention. Dr. Carson Beckett decides to visit him after the team returns to check if he really has the medical abilities he claimed to have. After several hours, Beckett returns to Atlantis and (breaking security protocol) takes Lucius with him.

At first, Dr. Elizabeth Weir and the others are skeptical, but they all come to like Lucius, except Sheppard and Dr. Rodney McKay who doubt that everything is normal with the rest. Trying to find out what happened, Sheppard returns to Lucius' planet and finds Lucius' people ill with yearning for Lucius. Sheppard returns with a substance that McKay thinks is responsible for Lucius being so irresistible to everyone else, only to find that McKay has become addicted to Lucius like everyone else. Sheppard, temporarily immune because he has a cold, kidnaps Beckett and convinces him to create an antidote. Managing to trick Lucius into a Puddle Jumper which they then take to the mainland, they administer the antidote to all of the Atlantis personnel and the people on Lucius' planet without his interference, thus reversing the effect. All of Lucius' former admirers now despise him, and he is sent home to a not-so-warm welcome.

At the end of the episode, Weir orders McKay to burn all remaining samples of the herb, after finding that he has used it to influence Sheppard.

Notable Quotes
Lucius: Where do you get a machine like that? I mean, it's a wonderful way to travel. Can I get one? Are they hard to fly?

Sheppard: Yes. They are hard to fly, and no, you can't have one.

Lucius: But I want one. Please.

Sheppard: Sorry.

(Lucius is telling his medical accomplishments)

Lucius: ... the lame can walk again. Well... some of them crawl, but they crawl much faster than they used to.

Sheppard: This is creeping me out.

McKay: Yeah, reminds me of an old Batman episode, actually. Catwoman used a drug to put a spell on Batman, making him fall in love with her. Ending up doing all sorts of evil things for her. Kind of a turn-on actually. It's Julie Newmar in a cat outfit...

Sheppard: Eartha Kitt was Catwoman.

McKay: Not till season three.

Sheppard: Really?

McKay: Yeah, you didn't know that?

McKay: You know they have marmot's on their planet? Well, not marmot's exactly, but close to the rodent...

Sheppard: I thought you said you were going to stay away from the nuts.

McKay: Yeah ... well, I tried to stay to myself, but Lucius here was concerned for me, so he came down, Ronon held me against the wall, and we have a nice, long talk.

Sheppard: Dr. Weir?

Weir: Oh, hi John. We were just discussing the gate harvesting program.

Sheppard: Yeah, I heard.

Weir: And Lucius knows of an excellent planet that we should investigate.

Sheppard: I heard that, too. (pauses) We got intel that the Wraith have just set up a major outpost ... an alliance of three hives.

Lucius: No! Really?

Weir: Has your intel been verified?

Sheppard: We haven't put boots on the ground, no, but our contacts are trustworthy. I'm not going to send a team down there. Not when there's still plenty of 'gates to scout.

Weir: John… you are way behind Rodney's quota.

Sheppard: Forget Rodney's quota! I am not sending a team into harm's way.

Lucius: You know what? Colonel Sheppard is right. I mean, don't get me wrong, with all your advanced weapons, you could easily dispose of a tiny Wraith outpost, if there even is an outpost, but ultimately is it worth the risk? No matter how small that risk may be. I mean, sure, people may label you a coward—

Sheppard: Will you knock it off!

Weir: Colonel! I think it's worth checking out.

Sheppard: No. I won't allow it.

Weir: John ... are you questioning my authority?

Sheppard: Yeah, when it comes to the security of this base, you're damn right I am. From now on, no one goes through that 'gate without my authorization.

Weir: So, how was Lucius' homecoming?

Sheppard: Well, they didn't kill him. Although I do see a string of divorces in his future.

Ronon: That's if they haven't strung him up first.

McKay: Well, the townspeople are over their withdrawal and on the mend, so I doubt that will happen.

Teyla: That is, unless we discover he's revealed the location of Atlantis to anyone.

Ronon: In which case I said I would track [Lucius] down, hang him up by his feet, and cut off his…

Weir: Thank you, we get the idea.

Sheppard: So, everyone here back to normal?

Weir: We're still fine John.

Sheppard: No lingering desires? Secret longings for his touch?

Beckett: It's embarrassing enough without you constantly reminding us, thank you.

Sheppard: All right, all right. (Turns to McKay.) Hey, buddy, I'd better get back and clean your quarters before the next scout.

McKay: Right.

Weir: Rodney.

McKay: It was one teeny, tiny taste for research purposes.

Weir: Burn it.

Beckett: All of it.

Weir: Right now.

McKay: Fine. (He turns away sulkily.) Story of my life.

Character

 * Lucius Lavin