Family Ties/Transcript

Episode Guide

 * 10.18 "Family Ties" Episode Guide

Transcript
TEASER

EXT&mdash;CHEYENNE MOUNTAIN, DAY

INT&mdash;SGC CORRIDOR

[Various male personnel are distracted as Carter and Vala walk down the hall. The two women carry several shopping bags. Vala is dressed in a miniskirt, knit top, and very short jacket with boots. Carter wears a flowing light brown flowery print dress and high heeled boots. Their hair is also coiffed and they both sport earrings.]

[Mitchell and Siler walk down the hallway from the other direction, already in a conversation.]

MITCHELL They cancelled it? Really? I didn't even know the new season had started. (spotting his teammates) Well, there's something you don't see everyday.

[Behind the two men, a janitor has come out of a supply closet and leans a mop against the far wall, leaving the closet door open.]

SILER (stopping short) Uh, yes sir.

[Siler makes an abrupt about face away from the two women, promptly colliding with the open door face-first.]

SILER Ooh! Ah!

[Carter and Vala have reached Mitchell at this point and wince at Siler's predicament. Once noting Siler's being taken care of, Mitchell turns back to Carter.]

MITCHELL It's a nice outfit.

[Carter exchanges a smug smile with Vala who nudges Carter with her shoulder.]

MITCHELL It's very&hellip;um&hellip;

CARTER Civilian?

MITCHELL (nonplussed) Well, yeah, that's one way of putting it. Huh. So, what is this, girls' day out?

[He gestures to their shopping bags.]

VALA Well, yes, if I'm going to integrate into Earth society, we thought it was very important that I immerse myself in the local cultural offerings.

MITCHELL Uh, and by "cultural offerings", you mean&hellip;

CARTER Pedicures, mochaccinos, and Victoria's Secret.

VALA (nodding) Mm-hmm!

MITCHELL Heh. Well, we're scheduled to go offworld in about an hour, and, though you both look&hellip;fantastic, I suggest you might want to lose the heels.

[Carter starts to speak.]

[Klaxons blare.]

HARRIMAN (over intercom) Unscheduled offworld activation!

MITCHELL Ladies first.

[He gestures for them to precede him. They continue down the corridor. Mitchell pauses a moment, watching before following, determinedly clasping his hands behind his back.]

INT&mdash;SGC CONTROL ROOM

[Landry is already in the control room with Harriman.]

HARRIMAN Sir, we're receiving a video transmission.

LANDRY Let's see it.

[A monitor shows Jacek's face looming into the camera lens.]

JACEK Hello? Hello? (taps camera lens) Is this thing working?

LANDRY This is General Landry of Stargate Command.

[Jacek backs away to a normal distance from the lens and smiles winningly.]

JACEK Oh, General! It is a pleasure! I don't get out to your end of the galaxy much, but I have a friend who lives in the area, and he speaks very highly of your people. Uh, maybe you know him. A funny little guy with a beard. Uh, lives on a planet formerly occupied by a female system lord&hellip;

LANDRY I don't uh&hellip;

JACEK Um, Rovak? Robak. Does the name sound familiar?

LANDRY No, it doesn't. Now what's this about?

JACEK (serious) Sir, I have some information for you. Information that could impact the very survival of your world.

[Vala, Carter, and Mitchell arrive in the control room. Vala stops in shock to see Jacek on the screen.]

VALA Jacek?

LANDRY You know this man?

VALA (stiffly) A little. He's my father.

[Vala closes her eyes and sighs as the others give her startled looks.]

END TEASER

OPENING CREDITS

INT&mdash;SGC CONTROL ROOM

JACEK (all smiles) Vala, is that you?

VALA (sighing) Yes, it is.

JACEK Sweetheart! How is life treating you?

VALA Certainly better than you ever did.

JACEK Ouch. Heh heh. I suppose for the benefit of your friends there, you're gonna want to list all the reasons why I was such a bad father.

VALA Oh, I wish I could, but a wormhole can only be maintained for thirty-eight minutes.

JACEK Ha ha. You've got your father's wit.

VALA It's hardly enough time to cover your inadequacies as both a parent and a human being in general.

JACEK And your mother's uncanny ability to hold a grudge.

MITCHELL You said you had some information for us?

JACEK Uh, yes! Let me through, and we'll discuss.

LANDRY All right, provided Vala will vouch for you.

VALA I most certainly will not!

JACEK You'll want to hear this. The information I have has to do with Arkad's plot to attack your planet.

CARTER Arkad is dead!

JACEK Well he may be dead, but the threat he set in motion still exists. Take your time, there's no pressure. Just that your whole planet could very well blow up at any moment.

[Vala scoffs and rolls her eyes.]

LATER

HARRIMAN Chevron 6 encoded.

INT&mdash;SGC GATE ROOM

[SG-1 is geared up and waits at the base of the ramp for the Stargate to finish dialing.]

MITCHELL So, what's the deal with the accent, or in your father's case, the lack thereof?

VALA Well, the accent, like most of my other good qualities I got from my mother. My charm. My wit. My good looks.

DANIEL What'd you get from your dad?

VALA Some minor food allergies.

HARRIMAN (over intercom) Chevron 7 locked.

[The wormhole activates, and SG-1 heads out.]

WORMHOLE EFFECT

EXT&mdash;UNNAMED PLANET, WOODS, EVENING

[SG-1 walk through the woods cautiously.]

VALA I have a bad feeling about this.

[Jacek steps out from behind some foliage.]

JACEK Of course you do. That's because I raised you to be cautious&hellip;wary.

VALA Mother raised me.

JACEK Which one?

VALA (looking disgusted) My mother.

JACEK Oh. Right. Hug for Daddy?

[He opens up his arms. Vala remains several feet away, cradling her P-90.]

VALA You're lucky I'm not allowed to kill you.

MITCHELL Well, so much for happy family reunions. What do you know about Arkad and the attacks he was planning?

JACEK Quite a lot, and I'm prepared to tell you everything I know in exchange for sanctuary on Earth.

VALA (unsurprised) There's the angle.

JACEK Okay, I was a terrible husband and admittedly probably not the best father figure&mdash;although I've seen worse! But I've put all that behind me because I'm trying to change, trying to better myself.

[Vala pointedly looks at her watch; Jacek hurriedly continues.]

JACEK Which is why I'm here now, risking my life to tell you that before Arkad died, he sent out several naquadah loaded cargo ships in preparation for an attack on Earth. And those cargo ships, my friends, are still out there, waiting to be launched. And I know their location.

INT&mdash;SGC BRIEFING ROOM

[SG-1 briefs Landry.]

VALA Can't you see what he's doing? He's spent an entire lifetime taking advantage of people, and now that they're finally catching up with him, he thinks he can use us to hide from his enemies!

CARTER But that's not really the issue here.

DANIEL No, Sam's right. If Jacek is telling the truth, and there's still a bunch of naquadah loaded cargo ships out there, then this deal is a no-brainer.

TEAL'C If he is telling the truth.

[Vala emphatically gestures her agreement.]

TEAL'C Thus far the Jaffa have been unable to corroborate any part of his story.

DANIEL Well, they wouldn't if Arkad was careful enough to cover his tracks.

CARTER If the threat is real, we can't let any of those cargo ships blow up. Time is of the essence.

MITCHELL Well, there is one way to find out if he's being straight with us.

LANDRY All right. Check it out. If his intel is good, then Jacek has himself a deal.

[Vala groans and rests her head on the table. Daniel gives a sidelong glance at her and sighs but leaves her alone as he gets up.]

INT&mdash;SGC INFIRMARY

[Lam checks out Siler's injured nose. Landry comes to the door.]

LANDRY Dr. Lam? (Siler weakly stands.) As you were, Sergeant.

[Siler nods and sits back on the bed.]

LAM (to Siler) Excuse me.

[Lam comes to the doorway with a puzzled expression.]

LANDRY Carolyn, I've been thinking.

LAM Ah, see now, whenever you preface what you're about to say with "I've been thinking," what you're actually doing is preparing me for some revelation you just had, so should I be sitting down for this?

LANDRY (chuckling) It's been a while since I last spoke to your mother.

LAM Yeah, a little over five years.

LANDRY We were married for twelve.

[Lam bites her lip, studying her father intently.]

LAM What brought this on all of a sudden?

LANDRY Oh, I've been thinking about it ever since you came to work here&mdash;about reaching out to your mother&mdash;at least, opening up some kind of communication with her.

LAM Okay. So&hellip;how do you want to do this?

LANDRY (shrugging) Well, I was thinking about giving her a call.

LAM (scoffing) Just like that? Just out of the blue?

LANDRY No?

[Lam groans and lets out a breath while rolling her eyes upward in thought.]

LAM She's in Europe for a couple of weeks. So&hellip;when she gets back, why don't I call her and&hellip;put in a good word for you?

[Landry gives a hopeful smile.]

LANDRY Thank you.

LAM (with slight smile) You're welcome.

[Lam returns to Siler. Landry gives a hopeful sigh and walks away.]

EXT&mdash;SPACE

[The Odyssey moves through hyperspace.]

INT&mdash;ODYSSEY CORRIDOR

[Mitchell exits an elevator and walks through the corridors at a fast pace. As he rounds one corner, he is startled by Vala leaning against the wall waiting for him. She starts walking with him.]

VALA We've come all this way for nothing. The cargo ships won't be there; my father will have played you all for fools; and this will have been a giant waste of time.

MITCHELL Not entirely. If the ships aren't there, we'll have called his bluff. And, you can tell us that you were right all along.

VALA You bet I will.

EXT&mdash;SPACE

[The Odyssey drops out of hyperspace near a planet.]

INT&mdash;ODYSSEY BRIDGE

[The crew, headed by Col. Davidson, mans their stations. Maj. Marks has the port station, Carter the starboard one with Daniel and Teal'c standing beside her. Mitchell and Vala join their teammates on the bridge.]

MARKS Entering high orbit. Scanning.

DAVIDSON What've we got?

MARKS We're picking up only twelve life signs on the planet's surface.

DAVIDSON That's it?

MARKS We're also picking up a significant concentration of naquadah.

CARTER These readings are through the roof!

DANIEL Looks like the intel's good.

TEAL'C Mmm.

[Daniel looks at Vala, who glares at Daniel and frowns.]

MARKS Sir, we're picking up movement.

CARTER We've been detected. They're making a break for it.

TEAL'C Those ships must not be allowed to escape.

DAVIDSON Lock onto their position and fire.

MARKS Yes, sir.

EXT&mdash;SPACE

[Odyssey fires several missiles at the planet.]

INT&mdash;ODYSSEY BRIDGE

MARKS Missiles are tracking. Impact in five seconds. Four&hellip;three&hellip;two&hellip;one&hellip;impact.

EXT&mdash;SPACE

[A large explosion can be seen from orbit on the planet's surface. A few moments later, a large explosion with a shock wave also happens.]

INT&mdash;ODYSSEY BRIDGE

MARKS Sir? I'm reading a massive secondary explosion.

MITCHELL How much naquadah was down there?

EXT&mdash;CHEYENNE MOUNTAIN, DAY

INT&mdash;SGC CORRIDOR, LEVEL 28

[Vala and Landry walk down a hall.]

VALA General, you're making a terrible mistake! Uh, with&hellip;all&hellip;due respect, it's not too late to change your mind.

LANDRY I made a deal. I'm not going back on my word.

VALA Then might I suggest a more liberal interpretation of the agreement? For instance, the word "sanctuary" could mean anything from accommodations in an idyllic tropical setting to say&hellip;a lifetime's incarceration in one of these planets' more unpleasant penal facilities!

LANDRY Forget it.

[Vala slumps in defeat as the wormhole activates.]

[Two SG team members stumble through the Stargate, overwhelmed by the several large bags they carry. Behind them comes a smiling Jacek, carrying nothing. The wormhole deactivates.]

JACEK It's okay, I'll go back for the rest of my stuff later. I tell you, travel is becoming more and more difficult everyday.

[He descends the ramp.]

LANDRY I'm General Landry. Jacek, welcome to Earth.

[Landry extends his hand to shake Jacek's. Jacek appears unfamiliar with the custom. He looks down, then extends his own hand to be parallel with Landry's. Landry grabs it and shakes it.]

JACEK Ah. A fresh start on a brand new world! I have a feeling I'm going to like it here very much. (spots Vala) Vala!

[Jacek clicks his tongue and fires his forefinger at his daughter in a familiar gesture, smiling at her. Vala sighs in disgust and looks away.]

VALA Ugh.

INT&mdash;SGC, VALA'S QUARTERS

[Vala lies on her bed in robe, curlers in her hair and a throw pillow between her feet. She is lying prone, facing the foot of the bed, and flipping through a magazine. Her bed sports a gold patterned comforter and there are other hints of personalization, including an impressionist painting in a gilded frame above the bed. There is a knock at the door.]

VALA Come in!

[Landry enters, carrying an envelope.]

VALA General!

[Surprised, Vala puts down the magazine and sits up.]

LANDRY This came for you today.

[Landry hands her the envelope.]

VALA Oh. Since when did you assume mail delivery duties at the base?

LANDRY It's from your father.

VALA Oh. (she throws it into the trash bin) I'll just file that away for later.

LANDRY It's been three weeks since he came to Earth, and you've ignored every attempt he's made to get in touch with you.

VALA Well, I-I've been&hellip;terribly busy.

LANDRY I think family should always come first. I learned that the hard way.

VALA How? Were you absent for the first three years of your daughter's life because you were too busy running scams out of the Nylus sector?

LANDRY No. But I did allow my career to take precedent over the things that should've been more important to me: birthdays, anniversaries, my daughter's graduation.

VALA No offense, General, but there really is no comparison. You had a legitimate occupation. My father's career choice was&hellip;decidedly less noble. He'd be gone for months at a time, only to return to lay low or to hide from the people he had swindled.

LANDRY What were things like when he was at home?

[Vala pauses from absently fiddling with her curlers. She shrugs thoughtfully.]

VALA Well, I&hellip;actually looked forward to the times that he would "grace" us with his presence. I was young, and he was my father. Sometimes he'd return late, in the middle of the night, and I would wake to find him asleep at the foot of my bed. I was so excited, I couldn't wait until morning, and I would prod him awake and make him tell me all about his "great adventures."

LANDRY Hmm.

[Landry and Vala are both smiling at the recounting of memories.]

VALA He'd always have something for me too: a fancy ring, a pretty necklace, things that he'd bring back from his many travels. I treasured those keepsakes: memories of my father that I kept stored away under my bed&hellip;until I was old enough to see them for what they really were: worthless trinkets meant to curry my favor.

LANDRY Oh, he might feel differently about that.

VALA You don't know him.

LANDRY No. I don't. But I do know that he spent every day of the last three weeks trying to get in touch with you, which tells me that you must be very important to him, possibly much more than you know.

[While Landry speaks, he goes over to the trash bin and pulls out the envelope, setting it on the footboard of Vala's bed. He walks over to the door.]

LANDRY You have some good memories of the times you spent together when you were a little girl. Those times count too.

[Vala looks back thoughtfully at Landry as he leaves, closing the door behind him. After he leaves, she looks down at the envelope.]

INT&mdash;JACEK'S APARTMENT

[Jacek opens the door to his apartment to find Mitchell and Daniel, both dressed in casual civilian garb, standing outside.]

JACEK Oh, Colonel Mitchell, Doctor Jackson! Thanks for coming! Entréz!

[Daniel and Mitchell enter, looking bemused at the sight before them.]

MITCHELL We interrupting something?

JACEK No, we're just enjoying a quiet little&hellip;

[Elderly ladies are seated around the living room of his apartment, studying Bingo cards. One woman spins the ball cage and pulls out another ball.]

HAZEL B-10!

JACEK Bingo!

WOMAN 1 What?

WOMAN 2 B-10?

[Jacek races back to fetch his card as the other women are still concentrating on their cards, verifying the number called. Jacek's apartment is filled with cheap tv tray tables and gaudy furniture, complete with a large felt painting of a tiger on the wall.]

JACEK All right, ladies, we've got to call it a day.

[He stamps B-10 on his card and shows them.]

JACEK Come on. Pay the winner! Read 'em and weep. Heh heh.

[The ladies shake their heads and gather their belongings to leave. Some have walkers or oxygen tanks. Jacek walks back over to Daniel and Mitchell by the door as the women begin to depart.]

JACEK All fair and square. Every Tuesday and Thursday I host a little Bingo afternoon for some of the seniors in the building. Gets them out of their apartments.

[The first woman to leave slams some cash into Jacek's hand.]

JACEK I Thank you. No running in the hall. (to Mitchell and Daniel) Gives them a chance to socialize. It's good for them. (loudly to ladies as he takes more cash) No loud parties after midnight. (low, to Daniel) Bless their decrepit little hearts. (to another woman as he accepts money) That's it. Be careful. Lot of cross traffic in the halls today.

[Hazel is the last to leave, she slams a few dollars into Jacek's hand as she tries to rush out the door.]

JACEK Whoa, whoa, Hazel! You're a little light!

[Hazel is irked she is caught, but dutifully reaches into her purse for some more money. Jacek turns to Daniel and Mitchell, but his voice is clearly audible to Hazel.]

JACEK (chuckling) Money "confuses" her when it's going out.

[Hazel glares at Jacek as she gives him the remaining cash owed.]

JACEK See you next time. (yells out the door) Oh, uh, same time Thursday! And to make up for today, I'm waving the cover charge!

[Hazel looks back and shakes her head annoyed as Jacek turns his back. Mitchell and Daniel close the door.]

JACEK Yes, settling in quite nicely. Thanks.

DANIEL Yeah, we heard you haven't exactly been a&hellip;model citizen.

JACEK I'm not sure what you're referring to.

DANIEL The charity phone scam? Little "Pepito" needs a new set of kidneys?

JACEK Right. Uh, well, you see, the Air Force provides me with a mere pittance. It's hardly enough to live on. I'm just looking to supplement my income&hellip;

[Mitchell and Daniel look unmoved.]

JACEK Okay, there've been a few lapses in judgment, but darn it, I'm working on it! And I just wish Vala could see that! That's where you guys come in!

[He slaps Daniel in the chest with the cash in his hand.]

MITCHELL Yeah, we figured that's why you asked us over.

JACEK Well, you're her friends. She trusts you.

DANIEL You want us to talk to her for you?

JACEK Well, I was gonna suggest tricking her into coming here, but if you really think talking'll work&hellip;?

[Daniel and Mitchell say nothing, Mitchell pointedly looking at the floor while Daniel sighs.]

JACEK Please guys, I really need to see my little girl.

[Mitchell sighs. Jacek fans his cash.]

JACEK If it's a matter of expenses, uh, we can talk about that later if you get my drift.

[Mitchell and Daniel look at him, incredulous.]

JACEK We're not putting anything on paper, of course. But, uh, give it some thought, I'd appreciate it.

[Daniel sighs.]

INT&mdash;LANDRY'S OFFICE

[Lam knocks on the open door jamb, looking excited. Landry is by his credenza looking at a file.]

LAM Good news! Uh, I got a call from Mom, and she will be in Colorado Springs on Friday.

LANDRY (stunned) She will?

LAM Yes. She's passing through, and she's agreed to have dinner with you.

LANDRY She has?

LAM Well, so long as I come along, yeah.

[Lam bounces on her toes slightly. Landry continues to have a "deer in headlights" shocked expression.]

LANDRY Oh.

[Lam bites her lip and studies her father.]

LAM Okay, I thought you'd be thrilled.

LANDRY (regaining composure) Oh, no. I am. No, that's-that's great news.

LAM Okay, uh, so I'll make a dinner reservation for Friday night somewhere&hellip;nice?

[Landry nods and makes agreeable, but not completely intelligible noises.]

LAM (nodding) Okay.

[She heads out, but turns around at the doorway.]

LAM Oh, and, um, you know that brown sports jacket that you have with the patches on the sleeves?

LANDRY (smiling and nodding) Mm-hmm.

LAM (shakes her head) Don't wear that.

[She gives her father a stern look. Landry stops smiling. Lam nods and leaves.]

INT&mdash;SGC ELEVATOR AND CORRIDOR

[Vala stands by elevator doors. The doors open to show Mitchell and Daniel in the elevator, startled to see her right in front of them.]

VALA Where have you been?

[Daniel glances at Mitchell.]

DANIEL Uh&hellip; (sigh/sputters) Your father's place.

[They trade places so now Vala is in the elevator, and the two men are in the corridor.]

VALA So, he wanted you to talk to me on his behalf, didn't he?

MITCHELL Yeah. Look, he really wants&mdash;

VALA (interrupting) You needn't bother.

DANIEL Look, you two obviously have some unresolved issues&hellip;

VALA I've already decided to pay him a visit.

[She presses the button to make the elevator doors close, leaving Daniel and Mitchell to exchange confused looks.]

INT&mdash;JACEK'S APARTMENT

[There is a knock at the door.]

JACEK Coming.

[Jacek looks through the peephole and gasps in delight when he sees it's Vala. He moves over to the mirror hanging beside the door where he checks his hair and combs his eyebrows. Vala knocks again.]

JACEK I'm coming!

[He opens the door. Vala wears casual civilian clothes.]

JACEK Well, this is a surprise.

[Vala waves him back as she walks in and moves to the far side of the living room.]

VALA (serious, her voice quavering) I have not come seeking reconciliation, or some deeper understanding of your contemptible behavior in my formative years. I have come for one thing and one thing only.

JACEK (grinning) Well, if it's chicken casserole, you're in luck, because I just&mdash;

VALA (ignoring him) Catharsis! To that end: (takes a deep breath) How dare you implicate yourself in my life after all these years? You were never there for Mother! Even though you always expected us to be there for you, whenever you needed a-a place to hide or-or capital to help set up one of your latest scams! My life has been a constant struggle against the personal issues that you seeded! And now that I am at Stargate Command and I am finally happy with who I am, you think you can come along and jeopardize everything I've worked so hard to achieve! Under no circumstances will I allow you to screw that up for me!

[She takes another deep breath.]

JACEK Wow! Did you rehearse that?

VALA (nodding, breathless) A little.

[Jacek nods and bites his lip. Vala turns and looks at him, still hurt.]

VALA Right. I'm done.

[She moves back to the door to exit.]

JACEK That's it? You're gonna leave? But I made pie!

VALA Well, I've&hellip;said everything I needed to say.

JACEK (hopeful) But if it was just a matter of getting all that off your chest, you could've just as easily&hellip;sent me a letter! But you went to the effort to come see me.

VALA Coming here was only to please my friends at Stargate Command and stop them from giving me any more unsolicited advice.

JACEK Yes, it must be wonderful to have friends who care about you, support you in times of need, who believe in you.

VALA (holding back tears) I earned their trust.

JACEK At least&hellip;you had the opportunity. You won't even give me that.

VALA You don't deserve it.

JACEK I don't suppose there's anything I could say or do that would convince you that I'm not lying? That I'm honestly trying to change?

[Vala straightens herself with dignity.]

VALA No, there isn't.

[She turns to the door.]

JACEK Well, then, before you go, this is for you.

[He holds up a gold necklace with a small copper-like pendant and dangles it in front of her. Vala pauses and looks at the jewelry with an uncertain expression.]

JACEK I got it from a trader on Meronat. You know, that little world with the twin suns I used to take you to?

VALA (wistful) I remember Meronat.

JACEK You still have your little treasure box? Where you would store all the gifts I used to bring you when you were just a little girl?

[Vala shuffles her feet uncomfortably, less able to retain her composure. She shakes her head, not looking directly at Jacek.]

VALA Nooo&hellip;I threw that away a long time ago.

JACEK Ah. I understand. Well, thanks for coming. And even though it's too late, I want you to know&hellip;I'm sorry.

[Vala gives a sad smile but says nothing. She turns to go, but can't open the door. She bangs her head against it and groans.]

JACEK Having second thoughts?

VALA No. I think the door is locked.

JACEK Ah. It sticks a little.

[He reaches around her and jiggles the handle to get the door to open.]

JACEK There you go.

VALA Goodbye, Jacek.

[Vala walks out of the apartment.]

JACEK For once in the last twenty years, could you call me "Dad"?

VALA You haven't earned that right yet.

[She walks away. Jacek's expression brightens.]

JACEK "Yet"!

VALA (calling back) I'll be in touch.

INT&mdash;SGC CORRIDOR, LEVEL 19

[Vala walks down the hallway smiling and with a bounce to her step. Carter, in her lab, spots her and comes to the door to call out to her.]

CARTER Vala! I think you're gonna want to see this.

INT&mdash;CARTER'S LAB

[Vala joins Carter in looking at a computer monitor.]

CARTER I found this on the internet.

[On the screen, Jacek appears in a bright colored suit advertising in an "infomercial", complete with cheesy visual effects, music, and cheap props.]

JACEK (on monitor) It's time to tap into the source by unlocking the power of stardust! Ha ha ha ha ha! Yes, genuine stardust&hellip;

[A model's hands highlight the vials. Vala watches and stiffens.]

JACEK (continuing on screen) The very same stardust celebrities and professional athletes use to tap into the power of the alpha force&mdash;the core energy of the universe. Tap into the source. Each specially treated vial contains four full grams of authentic stardust for only $19.95! That's only Nineteen Dollars and Ninety-Five Cents for a vial of genuine stardust!&hellip;

[A blinking $49.95 is crossed out and replaced with $19.95. Vala walks away from the monitor with a determined gait. Carter watches her go with a sympathetic look.]

JACEK (continuing on screen) Tap into the source! Order now!

INT&mdash;SGC BRIEFING ROOM

[Jacek sits in a chair wearing a casual shirt printed with different types of fish. Mitchell looms over him, seated on the table. He clicks the remote to turn off the "Stardust" ad. Jacek squirms uncomfortably in the chair.]

JACEK (chuckling uncomfortably) Huh. It wasn't real stardust.

MITCHELL That's the point. You're running a scam.

JACEK Well, now that's a matter of interpretation. The way I see it, I'm selling people "hope".

MITCHELL No. You're selling glitter shavings in a tube for twenty bucks a pop.

JACEK Plus shipping and handling.

MITCHELL Look, you are a guest on this planet. And as long as you are a "guest", you're gonna follow some rules!

JACEK Oh, come on. A guy's gotta make a living. Next thing you know, you're gonna tell me I can't publish my diet book! It's an eat for your eye color diet. I just lined up a publisher!

MITCHELL We're killing the book deal, and if you keep this up, the next deal we kill is gonna be the one with you!

JACEK (frustrated) Fine! No more scams.

MITCHELL Teal'c is waiting to escort you out.

JACEK (resigned) Yes. I-I appreciate this second chance.

MITCHELL Third chance.

JACEK Are you sure? I could've sworn it was&hellip;oh, right. "Pepito."

[He chuckles and slaps Mitchell on the shoulder as he walks towards his security escort.]

JACEK (to SF) Come this way. Ha ha. Do you play poker? Are you familiar with the game Twenty-One? Blackjack?

[Mitchell shakes his head as Jacek and the guard leave.]

INT&mdash;SGC CORRIDOR, LEVEL 28

[Teal'c leads Jacek from the control room.]

TEAL'C May I offer you a word of advice?

JACEK (charmingly to passing female airman) Hello. (to Teal'c) Any input that would help me better myself would be greatly appreciated.

[Teal'c runs his access card to summon the elevator.]

TEAL'C Perhaps three words. Be less annoying. If you have no intention of reforming your ways, which I suspect that you do not, perhaps it is best that you have nothing more to do with your daughter.

JACEK Let me tell you something, big boy! My daughter and I have an understanding! An unspoken bond that&hellip;

[Jacek's tone becomes less belligerent as Teal'c turns to glower at him face to face.]

JACEK She'll get over it. (spots Vala rounding the corner) Vala! Are you free on Friday night? Say yes. I got two tickets to this "Virginia Dialogues" show. I don't know much about it, but the tickets are very hard to get.

[Vala at first froze when she spotted Jacek, but continues walking, mortified and hunching her shoulders to try and not listen as she quickly moves to the control room. The elevator door opens and Teal'c enters, holding the door for Jacek.]

VALA Oh, to think I was just starting to believe in you!

[Vala stomps up the stairs, not looking back.]

JACEK I'm trying to change. It's an ongoing process.

[He sighs, then notices Teal'c holding the elevator door. He quickly gets inside.]

JACEK (eyeing Teal'c) So what are you doing Friday night?

[Teal'c looks at him as the elevator doors close.]

EXT&mdash;CHEYENNE MOUNTAIN, DAY

INT&mdash;DANIEL'S OFFICE

[Daniel studies a book, taking notes. He barely notices as Vala comes in lugging a large box full of more books.]

VALA Well, that's the last of them.

[She unkinks her shoulders and turns to leave.]

DANIEL (absently) Thank you. (glances up) Vala, um&hellip;have a seat please?

[Vala grabs a stool and waits with a curious expression. Daniel finishes taking his notes, then turns to her.]

DANIEL How you doin'?

VALA (shrugging) Fine. Why wouldn't I be?

DANIEL Well, you're obviously&hellip;disappointed.

[Vala gasps in realization.]

VALA Oh, right! Yeah, uh, no. Not in Jacek. His actions didn't really surprise me. More in myself for even considering the possibility that he might be telling the truth.

DANIEL Maybe he was.

VALA No, he lied. He said he was trying to change.

DANIEL Well, change isn't easy. I think you of all people should know that.

VALA Right, so you want to draw parallels between him and I: our equally disreputable pasts, our similar desires to reform.

DANIEL Yeah, there's that.

[Vala sighs.]

VALA Daniel, I'm a different person than I was two years ago because I genuinely wanted to change. I didn't see it as means of escape.

[She stands.]

DANIEL No. So you're telling me your decision had nothing to do with the desire to stop running and live a semi-normal life?

VALA You don't know Jacek the way I do.

DANIEL No, you're right. In fact, you probably know him better than you think. After all, you better than anybody must know what it's like to have to resist the temptation of falling back on your old ways. I'm sure it hasn't been easy for you either.

[Vala ponders Daniel's words unhappily.]

INT&mdash;HALLWAY OUTSIDE JACEK'S APARTMENT

[Daniel and Vala stand outside Jacek's door. Vala knocks.]

VALA Jacek, it's Vala!

DANIEL Should we come back?

VALA Nooo. Excuse me.

[Vala pulls lock picking tools out of her sleeve and plays with the lock. Daniel sighs and rolls his eyes. The door opens after a few seconds, perhaps even unlocked. Vala looks disappointed.]

VALA Too easy.

INT&mdash;JACEK'S APARTMENT

[Vala and Daniel enter the apartment. Vala wandering through the living room and kitchen.]

VALA Jacek? "Dad?"

[She enters the bedroom while Daniel looks down the hall to the bathroom.]

DANIEL (calling) Hello? (to Vala) He's not in here.

[Vala, after a slight hesitation, delicately moves Jacek's boxers where they are arranged on the bed. She uncovers a device and grabs it, slapping it onto Daniel's chest; he catches it awkwardly.]

VALA Ugh. I knew it. He's removed his ankle monitor. I told you he's been playing you for fools all along!

DANIEL Actually, you were starting to believe him too.

[Daniel fumbles for his cell phone.]

VALA If he decided to leave, it's unlikely we'll find him again.

DANIEL I wouldn't be so sure about that. During his initial physical, Dr. Lam implanted him with a subcutaneous transmitter&hellip;just in case.

[Vala blinks in surprise, then her expression turns to growing anger as she turns to face Daniel, who has by now dialed his cell phone.] VALA You didn't trust him, but you talked me into coming here anyway?

DANIEL Eh, he's not my father. (into phone) Sam, it's Daniel.

[Vala huffs in exasperation.]

EXT&mdash;CHEYENNE MOUNTAIN, DAY

INT&mdash;SGC CONTROL ROOM

[Mitchell and Teal'c enter the control room. Carter is already at a computer terminal.]

MITCHELL What's going on?

CARTER Jacek's on the run. His locator signal places him approximately six miles west of Colorado Springs.

TEAL'C Have we dispatched a team to the area?

CARTER Yeah. Daniel and Vala just got there. (into comm) Daniel?

EXT&mdash;PARK, DAY

[Daniel and Vala get out of an SUV and start walking down a park trail.]

DANIEL (into phone) We're parked, and we're proceeding on foot.

INT&mdash;SGC CONTROL ROOM

[Carter's computer monitor shows a grid section of a satellite close-up of the park. Two blue dots are near the edge of the woods and moving rapidly towards a red dot.]

CARTER You're headed right for him.

EXT&mdash;PARK, DAY

[Daniel and Vala take cover behind a large tree as they spot Jacek further up the trail, speaking to a lone man who faces away from them.]

JACEK Well, let-let's start over again. There's seven total. Three for you. Three for me. One for me. It's for the house, as we call it.

[Daniel turns back to Vala.]

DANIEL (sotto voce) I didn't know your father had any friends here on Earth.

VALA (sotto voce) Neither did I.

[Daniel releases the safety and cocks his Beretta before slowly and quietly moving out into the open. Jacek does not notice Daniel's movements and remains engrossed in speaking to his companion.]

JACEK You can't go back on this deal. We had an arrangement. Do you have a superior I could talk to?

DANIEL Jacek?

[The man with Jacek spins and fires a zat blindly. It misses Daniel, who returns fire, killing the man. Daniel keeps his gun pointed at the man. Vala ducks out, shoving her father aside as she walks to the dead man, lifting his cap to reveal a Jaffa tattoo on his forehead.]

VALA Jaffa.

[Daniel grimaces and turns his pistol from the dead Jaffa to Jacek.]

INT&mdash;SGC BRIEFING ROOM

[SG-1 briefs Landry. Landry picks up a small handheld alien device.]

CARTER Jacek was carrying that with him. It's a short range communicator he probably used to contact the Jaffa.

VALA No doubt he snuck it in with his personal effects.

MITCHELL Turns out we didn't destroy all of the ships intended for the attack. One of them was dispatched early, and it's been sitting somewhere here on Earth waiting for the order to strike.

[Vala shoots a smug, knowing look to Daniel, who raises his eyebrows in surprise.]

LANDRY And he knew this all along?

DANIEL He got his intel from some heavily involved Jaffa who were having second thoughts about the whole thing. Apparently, he knew them from some "weapons smuggling operation" he used to run?

VALA Mmm.

[Vala and Daniel exchange humorless smiles.]

CARTER He found out about the cargo ships and made a deal with us so he could come to Earth.

MITCHELL Where he made a deal with the Jaffa: they'd give him the naquadah, he would sell it, and they would split the proceeds. Nice and tidy.

LANDRY Where's this cargo ship located?

MITCHELL He doesn't know. The Jaffa he was with was his contact, and he's gone so&hellip;

VALA Can't we just locate this cargo ship the same way we did the others?

DANIEL No, that won't work this time. This particular cargo ship is cloaked, so doing an orbital scan won't reveal any trace of the naquadah.

CARTER But, Jacek claims that Arkad marked the naquadah to make sure that none of his men would try to double-cross him. He says he can calibrate our detection systems to pick up its unique energy signature.

[Vala grins and shrugs as if all this was expected.]

VALA Just out of interest, what did he ask for in return?

MITCHELL Uh, we recover the naquadah, we give it to him, he sells it, and we split the profits, fifty-fifty.

[Vala rolls her eyes and nods.]

LANDRY And what was your counteroffer?

MITCHELL He gets zero, and we don't lock him away for the rest of his life&hellip; He took the offer.

VALA Hmm.

INT&mdash;BILL LEE'S LAB

[Lee and Carter work on separate laptops on opposite sides of the table. Jacek leans over Lee's terminal.]

JACEK See, you've cast too wide a variance. If you just narrow the parameters.

LEE Narrow the&hellip;parameters. (He types a few keys) Ah, that's genius!

[Carter gives the men a skeptical look before looking again at her own screen.]

JACEK Oh, I don't know about genius. Just marginally brilliant.

[Jacek slaps Lee on the back familiarly while Lee smiles.]

LEE Now if I can just figure out how to sync it up.

[Lee continues typing. Jacek walks over to stand across from Carter's station.]

JACEK (to Lee) Aw, I'm sure it'll come to you. (to Carter) So, how are the readings coming along?

CARTER Slowly.

JACEK It's no wonder. I don't mind telling you, I'm a little disappointed in this facility. I was expecting more.

[Carter looks around the lab and then nods her head in agreement.]

CARTER Well, at times, so do we. But the truth is the Stargate Program just doesn't get the support it used to from the people in charge.

JACEK Why not?

[Carter opens her mouth to respond, but Lee interrupts.]

LEE Eureka! One down, twelve to go!

[Lee claps his hands in delight and looks at Carter and Jacek before turning back to his own work.]

JACEK That's too bad. Because after all your Stargate program has accomplished for this network of planets, I would think the decision makers would show it the respect it deserves.

CARTER (shrugging) Yeah.

JACEK Say, how'd you like to go out to dinner with me once this is all is over?

CARTER (shocked) Oh, I don't think so.

JACEK Why not?

CARTER Well, I'm an incredibly busy person with very little free time&hellip; Oh! And you're a jerk.

JACEK Oh, of course there's that. Look, I'm sorry I had to trick you. But if you'd known what I had planned, you would've never let me on this planet.

CARTER I'm talking about the way you treated Vala. To think that for the first time since she was a child she was actually beginning to trust you.

[Jacek shifts and looks nonplussed by this assertion.]

INT&mdash;LANDRY'S OFFICE

[Landry sits at his desk, looking over a file. The phone rings and Landry answers.]

LANDRY Hello?

INT&mdash;SGC INFIRMARY

[Lam is on the other end of the phone.]

LAM Hi, just calling to remind you about dinner tonight.

LANDRY (over phone) Dinner? Tonight?

LAM You forgot?

INT&mdash;LANDRY'S OFFICE

[The rest of the conversation switches from Lam and Landry's point of view.]

LANDRY Oh. No-no. No. It's just that something very important has come up. I think we might be better off rescheduling.

LAM Mom heads back tomorrow morning. We can't reschedule.

LANDRY I'm dealing with a major situation here.

[Lam pauses and puts her hand over the mouthpiece, looking around the infirmary notably empty of patients and makes a determined effort to control her temper.]

LAM Okay&hellip;what do you want me to tell her?

LANDRY (after a pause) Tell her I'll be there.

[In the infirmary, Lam looks at the phone, incredulous.]

[In Landry's office, Carter knocks at the open door and she and Jacek enter as Landry hangs up.]

CARTER Sir, we finished calibrating the device, and we've got a lock on their location. They're approximately&hellip;thirty miles outside of&hellip;Cheyenne Mountain.

[While Carter speaks, both she and Landry are distracted by Jacek picking up the sword decorating Landry's desk and playing with it, as if assessing its value.]

CARTER (continuing) It seems that one of the targets was the Stargate.

[Landry stands.]

LANDRY Tell them I'll send in some tactical units.

[Carter nods, but Jacek raises a finger.]

JACEK I wouldn't. If the Jaffa suspect they're about to be compromised, I have no doubt they'll detonate the naquadah. Uh, I would suggest using a little stealth and cunning to take them off-guard. And I'd be happy to help out.

LANDRY No thanks.

[Landry smiles and picks up the phone, dialing an extension.]

JACEK Well, like it or not, you're gonna need my help. Some of these Jaffa know me, they trust me&hellip;and there's also the matter of the rigged cargo ship.

[Landry puts down the phone and looks at Carter expectantly. She looks surprised.]

CARTER This is the first I've heard of it, sir.

JACEK Are you sure? I thought I'd mentioned it. According to Te'rak, the cargo ship is rigged to blow in the event of anyone tries to move it. Now, fortunately for you, I have the override code.

[Landry and Carter exchange looks.]

JACEK Please, General. Let me help! Give me this one final shot at redemption.

[Landry sighs.]

EXT&mdash;WOODS, DAY

[Vala, wearing one of her black leather outfits, and Jacek, wearing his traveling gear, walk through the forest.]

JACEK Oh, this is nice. It reminds me of that afternoon we spent on Serras- Dia.

[Vala laughs without humor.]

VALA Running for our lives from the authorities.

JACEK You've got to admit, it was great daddy-daughter time.

VALA As I recall, we would not have been on the run had you not been greedy and gone back for seconds.

JACEK I couldn't help myself.

VALA (sighing in frustration) You know you couldn't even pull off this simple naquadah deal without complicating things with your silly little side scams. You always were so sloppy!

CARTER (over radio) Vala.

VALA (into radio) Yes, Sam?

INT&mdash;ANOTHER PART OF THE WOODS, DAY

[Mitchell, Carter, and Daniel, armed and wearing full SG field gear wait in another section of the forest. All their identifying patches have been removed. Carter studies a scanner.]

CARTER (into radio) The naquadah signal is emanating approximately a half-mile north of your position.

VALA (over radio) I'll confirm visual sighting. Requesting radio silence.

INT&mdash;SGC CONTROL ROOM

[Personnel are at their various stations. Landry stands by Harriman's station.]

TEAL'C (over comm) Stargate Command, this is Teal'c. I have delivered the package to the appointed area.

LANDRY Good. Keep me apprised of any developments.

[Landry checks his watch and makes a face.]

HARRIMAN Sir, do you have to be somewhere?

[Landry glares at Harriman, who looks away and adjusts some controls.]

INT&mdash;WOODS, VALA AND JACEK'S POSITION, DAY

[Jacek and Vala keep walking down the trail.]

JACEK Whatever happened to that boy you used to like? The one whose father was a merchant? I always thought you two would end up together.

VALA Veron Karn?

JACEK (nodding affirmatively) Mmm.

VALA (incredulous) We were ten&hellip;?

JACEK Mmm.

VALA And he moved away.

JACEK Aw, that's too bad. I saw a lot of potential in him.

VALA Could you stop trying to endear yourself to me? As far as I'm concerned, you're a lost cause, and I wouldn't be surprised if you were somehow involved in Arkad's plot against Earth.

JACEK Oh, that would be low, even for me.

VALA I have no idea what you're capable of.

[They stop as they hear the sound of a staff weapon being primed. Vala unholsters her zat and aims it as a Jaffa comes out of the foliage. The sound of more staff weapons being primed is heard and more Jaffa appear, all armed and clearly outnumbering the pair.]

JACEK (unthreateningly) Uh, hey fellas, it's me, Jacek. Uh, me and my partner. Actually, my daughter&mdash;isn't she pretty?&hellip; We're here to check out the merchandise, is that okay?

[Vala reholsters her zat and sighs.]

DE'VIR There's been a change of plans, Jacek. And unfortunately, you're no longer part of this new arrangement.

[Vala exchanges a rueful look with her father.]

INT&mdash;WOODS, MITCHELL, CARTER, AND DANIEL'S POSITION, DAY

VALA (over radio) Oh, Jacek you idiot.

DANIEL That's the signal.

MITCHELL Let's go.

[Mitchell and Daniel rush towards Vala and Jacek's position. Carter checks the readings on her scanner and heads off in another direction.]

EXT&mdash;WOODS, VALA AND JACEK'S POSITION, DAY

VALA Look, there's no need for you to&hellip;carry on with your attack, because Arkad is dead and there's no need to sacrifice yourselves.

JACEK Or the naquadah! Let's talk deal.

DE'VIR I believe that was Te'rak's intention&hellip;before he disappeared.

JACEK Really? I-I hope he's all right. He-he probably just got lost. These woods are&hellip;very confusing. You can get turned around so easily&hellip;

DE'VIR Enough!

[De'vir points his staff weapon at Vala who takes a deep breath.]

JACEK Wait. I-I can't watch my daughter die.

[The Jaffa point their weapons at Jacek.]

JACEK I can't watch me die either.

[Jacek winces in anticipation as De'vir primes his weapon. Behind the Jaffa, Mitchell stands and fires his P-90 once into the air. The Jaffa instantly turn to the new threat. De'vir glances back but then turns to fire at Jacek. Vala tackles him out of the way, and both fall behind some cover, unhurt.]

JACEK Thanks, honey.

[Daniel and Mitchell exchange fire with the Jaffa.]

MITCHELL Vala! Get to the ship.

[Vala shoots her zat a few times as cover fire while she and Jacek make their escape.]

INT&mdash;CLEARING, WOODS, DAY

[A Jaffa stands watch over an apparently empty clearing. He is shot from behind by Vala's zat and crumples forward, face down. Vala and Jacek approach. Vala reaches down and grabs a small rock, throwing it into the clearing. A ripple appears, showing the location of the cloaked tel'tak.]

VALA (into radio) I've located the cargo ship.

[Vala starts to approach the ship. Jacek pulls her back.]

JACEK Hold it. The naquadah on that ship is rigged to blow unless I input the override code Te'rak gave me.

[Vala shrugs and nods.]

VALA All right. I'm coming with you.

JACEK No, I'm not going to risk your life too!

[Vala sighs. Jacek grabs her arms and shakes her slightly.]

JACEK Listen to your father for once. Here. In case&hellip;I don't make it.

[Jacek holds up the necklace he tried to give Vala earlier. This time, Vala takes it from him. Jacek clicks his tongue and points at his daughter. After an emotional pause, Vala reluctantly imitates the gesture and watches Jacek go.]

INT&mdash;WOODS, BATTLE AREA, DAY

[Daniel and Mitchell move away from the cover. All of the Jaffa lie dead or badly wounded throughout the area.]

INT&mdash;TEL'TAK

[Jacek pats the boxes of cargo before moving to the pilot's chair. He hits his head on the windshield as he sits.]

JACEK Ugh. Drat. Ah.

[Jacek powers up the controls.]

EXT&mdash;CLEARING, DAY

[Vala watches as the tel'tak uncloaks and flies away. She sighs and keys her radio.]

VALA (into radio) Jacek?

INT&mdash;TEL'TAK

JACEK (into comm) Sorry, sweetheart. There never was an override code. Take care of yourself. Daddy loves you.

EXT&mdash;CLEARING, DAY

[Vala closes her eyes, tamping down any emotions. After composing herself, she strides over to the Jaffa guard she had stunned with her zat.]

VALA Hey.

[She slaps him on the back, and when he doesn't respond, she rolls him over with effort. The Jaffa "guard" is Teal'c, who groans in pain and holds his head.]

VALA You okay?

TEAL'C (groaning) Yes. Did everything go as planned?

VALA It did on our end. (keying radio) Sam?

INT&mdash;ANOTHER CLEARING, DAY

[Carter stands by an uncloaked cargo ship.]

CARTER (into radio) The real cargo ship is secure.

[Daniel and Mitchell join Carter by the ship.]

CARTER (into radio) Guess we won't be needing that override code?

INT&mdash;CLEARING, VALA AND TEAL'C POSITION, DAY

[Vala pauses and struggles with her emotions for a bit.]

VALA (into radio) No, you won't.

CARTER (over radio, sympathetically) Sorry, Vala.

VALA Come on.

[She taps Teal'c in the chest and helps him to his feet.]

INT&mdash;SGC CONTROL ROOM

MITCHELL (over radio) We're all good, sir.

LANDRY Glad to hear it. Good job SG-1. An&mdash; (looks at his watch and panics) Landry out!

[Landry rushes out of the room. Harriman watches him go in puzzlement, then shrugs and turns back to his controls.]

INT&mdash;BISTRO 5 RESTAURANT, COLORADO SPRINGS

[Landry, wearing a dark civilian suit, rushes inside and frantically looks around the restaurant. When a staff member moves, he spots Lam sitting alone at a table. He smiles and starts to approach. Lam spots him.]

LAM You're late.

LANDRY I got away as soon as I could.

KIM LAM You're here. And that's what counts.

[Landry turns to find Kim standing behind him, smiling. Landry returns the smile as he gazes appreciatively at his ex-wife. He gestures to her chair.]

LANDRY Please.

[Lam watches as Landry chivalrously pulls Kim's chair out.]

LANDRY Thank you for coming.

KIM LAM Thank you for inviting me.

[Landry takes a seat across from Kim Lam.]

LANDRY Carolyn.

LAM Dad.

KIM LAM We&hellip;have a lot to talk about.

LANDRY We do, Kim.

EXT&mdash;CLIFF, UNNAMED PLANET, DAY

[Jacek's tel'tak is parked at the edge of a large canyon.]

INT&mdash;TEL'TAK

[Jacek is in the forward section of the ship while a trader looks inside the crates in the cargo hold. Jacek approaches.]

JACEK Well, you've had long enough to look over the merchandise. What are you offering for this cargo ship full of weapons grade naquadah?

TRADER You mean a cargo ship full of lead bars and&hellip;and these things.

[The trader holds up one of the foam packaging curls filling the crate amongst lead bars. Jacek looks startled, but recovers quickly.]

JACEK Oooh! This is a surprise. They've included the Jibbaran virility enhancers. Well! That's a bonus. Go ahead. Try a sample.

[The trader dubiously eats one.]

JACEK I understand they're very powerful. Can you feel it working?

[Jacek peers at him closely. The trader continues chewing, an expression of wonder coming over his face.]

TRADER Yes. I can.

JACEK Let's talk deal. I may keep a couple of these for myself. Better to have them and not need them then to need them and not have them, right?

[Jacek pockets a few of the packaging pieces and starts laughing. The trader laughs too.]

JACEK We talk the same language, right?

EXT&mdash;CLIFF, UNNAMED PLANET, DAY

[The trader and Jacek's laughter can be heard outside the ship.]

EXT&mdash;CHEYENNE MOUNTAIN, NIGHT

INT&mdash;VALA'S QUARTERS

[Several letters are on the bed. By the nightstand, Vala fingers the necklace Jacek gave her and walks around her bed. She stretches under her bed and pulls out a small rosewood style jewelry case. She opens the case and places the necklace amongst several other shiny baubles and cheap crystal trinkets.]

[There is a knock at the door.]

VALA Just a minute!

[She hides the box and papers under the bed.]

VALA Come in!

[She stands up next to the bed. Carter enters, carrying a bottle of white wine and two glasses.]

CARTER Hi!

VALA Hi. What's this?

CARTER Girls' night in.

VALA Nice.

[Vala sits on the bed as Carter perches on the footboard and places the glasses there. She opens the wine bottle and begins to pour.]

CARTER So, how are you doing?

VALA Great. Yeah, wonderful. Everything went according to plan. We led Jacek to the decoy ship while you secured the real one. He scammed us, but we scammed him better.

[Carter gives her a sympathetic look. They toast their glasses and sip the wine.]

VALA Cheers. So where are the boys tonight?

CARTER Uh, Cameron has a date, Daniel's exhausted, and Teal'c got tickets to some show.

VALA Hmm.

INT&mdash;DARKENED THEATER, COLORADO SPRINGS

[Teal'c, wearing a suit and stocking cap to cover his emblem, takes a seat in the darkened theater just before the curtain rises.]

ACTRESS My girlfriends and I talk about a lot of things. There's just one topic we rarely discuss. Vaginas. And I asked myself, why is that? Why don't we talk about vaginas? Why are work and kids and holiday plans more acceptable topics of conversation than our own vaginas? And I didn't have an answer. So, I took it upon myself to find out. I started to talk about vaginas at work, at home, sometimes even in fancy restaurants! Soon my friends started to talk about vaginas as well. And it was only a matter of time before it became a hot conversation topic. No matter where I went, it was "vagina this", "vagina that," "vagina, vagina, vagina&hellip;"

[As the actress speaks, Teal'c's eyes widen slightly and he looks at the middle aged woman beside him with a panicked smile, who smiles and nods before turning back to the stage. He turns to other side of him and finds the young woman with spiked hair and a nose ring who gives a challenging nod. Teal'c tries to sink into his chair in the female filled audience, covering his face in his hands in embarrassment.]

FADE OUT

END CREDITS

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--Michelle 22:42, 15 March 2007 (PDT)