The Other Guys/Transcript

Episode Guide

 * 6.08 "The Other Guys" Episode Guide

Transcript
TEASER

EXT&mdash;KHONSU'S PLANET

[A large pyramid is in the background. In the foreground is a lake with a Stargate at the water's edge. A couple of death gliders fly overhead.]

INT&mdash;KHONSU'S PYRAMID&mdash;THRONE ROOM

[A Jaffa enters, carrying a staff weapon. The corridor is lined with armed Jaffa. The Jaffa kneels.]

HER'AK Lord Khonsu.

[Khonsu is sitting on a throne, behind which hang a number of weapons.]

KHONSU I have a task for you, Her'ak

HER'AK How may I serve you, my Lord?

KHONSU This mission is of great importance so there's not much time. If you succeed, Anubis himself will be most pleased.

[Her'ak smiles and Khonsu rises from the throne.]

KHONSU I have learned the location of certain enemies. They are currently vulnerable. You will take my Ha'tak, capture them and bring them to me&hellip;alive.

HER'AK My Lord, may I ask who is so valuable?

[Her'ak rises as Khonsu walks towards him.]

KHONSU Three humans and a Jaffa, known to the Tau'ri as SG-1.

END TEASER

OPENING CREDITS

EXT&mdash;ALIEN PLANET&mdash;P5X-112&mdash;SCIENTIFIC CAMP

[The landscape is of ruins and sand. Two men dressed in desert camo are working among the ruins. One is sitting at some equipment which is standing on a partially uncovered ring transporter.]

COOMBS I calculate platform mass at 12.9 metric tons, consistent with the one on P4X-233.

MEYERS And every other ring transporter we've measured. Suggests some sort of standardization, don't you think?

COOMBS You think the Goa'uld have a big plant somewhere that just stamps these things out?

MEYERS Jay, how's it coming with the energy levels left in that power cell?

[There is no reply from Jay, who cannot be seen.]

MEYERS Jay?

[Meyers walks up to Jay, followed by Coombs. Jay (Felger) is staring into the distance.]

MEYERS The power cell?

FELGER Hmm?

MEYERS The power cell?

FELGER Yeah, yeah I'm working on it.

MEYERS No&hellip;

[Meyers snaps his fingers in front of Felger's eyes.]

MEYERS &hellip;you're not.

FELGER Look at them. They are so cool.

[Felger takes a few paces towards O'Neill and Teal'c who are standing some twenty feet away.]

COOMBS Jay, enough already. It's embarrassing.

MEYERS Not to mention unprofessional.

FELGER Guys, we're in the presence of greatness here. The best of the best, and here we are working alongside them. Savour the moment, gentlemen, savour the moment.

MEYERS Come on, Felger. We're studying an old piece of Goa'uld technology and they're babysitting us.

[Meyers walks away. Felger, still staring at O'Neill and Teal'c and grinning, ignores him.]

FELGER What do you think they're talking about, right now?

[Coombs shrugs in despair and also walks away.]

O'NEILL So T, who you taking in the Cup?

[Teal'c looks at O'Neill, puzzled.]

O'NEILL Lord Stanley's Cup?

[Teal'c raises his left eyebrow.]

O'NEILL Hockey? Remember, with the ice and skating?

[Teal'c raises both eyebrows slightly.]

O'NEILL We went to a game last year.

TEAL'C Indeed. I believe the Canucks of Vancouver are superior warriors.

O'NEILL Canucks, eh?

[O'Neill pauses for a moment, seemingly surprised.]

O'NEILL So, lunch?

[O'Neill moves away towards the three scientists. Teal'c follows. Felger is still watching O'Neill and Teal'c.]

FELGER Here they come.

[He quickly heads over to Coombs who is standing, holding a laptop computer. Felger stands on one side of Coombs, with Meyers on the other side. Felger looks at the monitor, appears to check that O'Neill and Teal'c are approaching, and gestures.]

FELGER Yes, yes, that does look like a very important breakthrough. Good work, Coombs.

[Felger pats Coombs on the back, while Meyers walks away.]

FELGER Carry on.

[O'Neill and Teal'c walk past Coombs and Felger.]

O'NEILL Progress, professor?

[Felger rushes to walk alongside O'Neill.]

FELGER Definitely, yes. Big stuff going on here&hellip;big. I can give you a full report if you want.

O'NEILL Save it for Carter. We just came here for the fine cuisine.

[O'Neill, Felger and Teal'c have arrived at a table holding a large container. O'Neill opens the container and looks at the stack of MREs. He and Teal'c start removing them and read the labels.]

FELGER Of course, yeah. I mean her&hellip;her DHD reports are unbelievable aren't they? I mean, she is single handedly revolutionizing our knowledge of Stargate technology.

[He looks at both Teal'c and O'Neill, who seem to be ignoring him as they look over the MREs.]

FELGER Any word on how that's going?

O'NEILL No.

FELGER No, no.

[O'Neill passes a pouch over to Teal'c.]

O'NEILL Turkey?

FELGER Turkey there.

[Teal'c nods and smiles as he accepts the pouch.]

FELGER I guess I'll just get back to work, then.

TEAL'C Are you nearing the completion of your research?

[A crash is heard.]

COOMBS Ow! Jeez. Who put that scanner there?

[Teal'c raises an eyebrow.]

FELGER Uh&hellip;well, it may be a few more days yet.

O'NEILL What's your time frame there?

FELGER Um, a day or so, you know, but then you guys can get right back to saving the world again&hellip;

[Felger quickly thumps O'Neill on the arm a couple of times. O'Neill looks at his arm then looks at Felger. Felger laughs.]

FELGER For the seventh time.

TEAL'C Eighth.

[Felger and O'Neill look at Teal'c.]

O'NEILL What, you're counting?

[Teal'c raises an eyebrow and shrugs slightly.]

CARTER (over radio) Colonel O'Neill.

O'NEILL (into radio) Yeah, Carter. Go.

EXT&mdash;P5X-112&mdash;STARGATE DHD

[The Stargate is shutting down as Jonas walks towards Carter.]

CARTER We just received an urgent message from General Hammond.

EXT&mdash;P5X-112&mdash;SCIENTIFIC CAMP

[Felger is standing very close to O'Neill and listening over his shoulder. O'Neill almost does a double-take.]

O'NEILL Roger that. We're on our way.

[There is another crashing sound.]

COOMBS Oh, good one, that's only worth about two hundred thousand dollars.

O'NEILL Felger?

[O'Neill pronounces Felger's name incorrectly, as he does throughout the mission.]

FELGER Yes?

O'NEILL We've got to check something out.

FELGER Can I help?

[O'Neill, Felger and Teal'c walk away from the table. Teal'c grabs his staff weapon on the way.]

O'NEILL No. As a matter of fact, stay here. If we're not back in an hour, get to the gate, dial home. Got it?

FELGER Well, what could go wrong?

O'NEILL Got it?

FELGER Yes, Colonel.

[As O'Neill and Teal'c walk away, Felger stares after them.]

EXT&mdash;P5X-112&mdash;SCIENTIFIC CAMP

[Some time later, Felger comes running down the slope into the camp. He approaches Coombs and Meyers who are kneeling over equipment.]

FELGER Aren't you guys the slightest bit worried about them?

COOMBS They'll be back, Felger. Can't you see, they're just having fun with you.

FELGER What are you talking about? There's something going on out there.

COOMBS Oh, please, huh? They're just tired of your butt-snorkeling.

[Coombs rises to face Felger.]

COOMBS (mockingly) So tell me how you finally defeated Apophis, Colonel O'Neill. Oh, Major Carter, I based my doctoral thesis on your amazing wormhole stability theories.

FELGER Bite me, Coombs! At least my heroes exist. If this was a Trek convention you'd be all dressed up like a Klingon.

COOMBS Vulcan, Felger, Vulcan.

[Coombs and Felger face off against each other.]

COOMBS And I don't know how you can call yourself a scientist and not worship at the alter of Roddenberry.

FELGER (mockingly) Oooh, how we gonna get outta this one Captain? Oh, I don't know, something to do with a tachyon emitter.

MEYERS Guys, knock it off. Now, what say we hook up the Naquadah generator and see if we can't get this baby started.

FELGER Fine.

COOMBS Good.

FELGER (under his breath to Coombs) Nerd.

COOMBS (to Felger) Geek.

[Suddenly, a ship flies overhead, casting a large shadow over the area. Coombs buries his head in his arms and Felger ducks, but quickly looks up to watch the ship, which has headed over the hill. All three stand.]

MEYERS Was that what I think it was?

FELGER An Alkesh. Mid range Goa'uld attack vessel.

COOMBS But this planet was supposedly abandoned centuries ago. There isn't even anything here except&hellip;

FELGER SG-1.

[Felger runs to grab a radio off a box.]

FELGER (into radio) Colonel O'Neill, Felger. We just saw an Alkesh.

EXT&mdash;P5X-112&mdash;RUINS NEAR STARGATE

[O'Neill and Carter are sheltering behind some ruins. As O'Neill fires his weapon, a zat is discharged.]

O'NEILL (into radio) I know! Stay put! Remember what I told you. Wait till it's clear, get to the gate, report to Hammond.

[Jonas is behind another wall, firing a zat.]

EXT&mdash;P5X-112&mdash;SCIENTIFIC CAMP

[The three scientists can hear gunfire in the distance.]

FELGER (into radio) Colonel O'Neill? Major Carter?

EXT&mdash;P5X-112&mdash;RUINS NEAR STARGATE

[The Alkesh is hovering over the Stargate. Transporter rings ascend into the ship. Zats are being fired, as well as O'Neill's P-90 and Teal'c's staff weapon. The Alkesh fires multiple rounds behind SG-1, creating a wall of fire.]

EXT&mdash;P5X-112&mdash;SCIENTIFIC CAMP

[The noise of the battle can be clearly heard.]

FELGER Oh, they're in trouble.

[Felger runs off in the direction of the gunfire.]

COOMBS Hey! Where you going Felger? He told us to stay put.

[Meyers and Coombs reluctantly run after Felger.]

FELGER (into radio) Colonel O'Neill? Major Carter?

EXT&mdash;P5X-112&mdash;NEAR STARGATE

[Felger comes to an overhang and scrambles down to lie on his stomach.]

FELGER Oh, no. Oh&hellip;

MEYERS This is ridiculous, Felger. You're gonna get us&hellip;

[Meyers and Coombs run up to him. Felger turns to grab Meyers' leg to pull him to the ground.]

FELGER Shut up.

[Meyers, in turn, grabs Coombs' arm to pull him down.]

FELGER Look.

COOMBS Oh, my God.

[Felger gestures ahead, where SG-1 are being led by the Jaffa towards the Alkesh.]

EXT&mdash;P5X-112

[The three scientist are running back to the ruins and the science camp.]

COOMBS Wait, wait, wait, wait. You mean do something? What do you mean, do something? You're totally out of your mind, Felger. Mission protocol clearly states that if something goes wrong, we are to return to Stargate Command immediately and you know what? Something went wrong.

MEYERS Colonel O'Neill said it himself. We have to go back to Earth.

FELGER I know what he said, but I'm the senior advisor on this mission and I'm making a command decision.

MEYERS You're a lecturer in residence at M.I.T.

FELGER Laugh all you want, but I studied every mission SG-1's ever been on, and the one thing they all have in common? They never leave a man behind. Ever.

[Felger grabs the naquadah generator.]

COOMBS Technically, they're not behind. We are.

FELGER Meyers, you go back through the gate, tell General Hammond what's happened.

[Felger turns to walk away.]

COOMBS What about us?

FELGER We're going after SG-1.

COOMBS No, really.

[Felger kneels and places the generator by the ring transporter.]

FELGER You know, that ship must have taken them back to the mother ship out in orbit. We can use this platform to ring up to it but we have to act now before they're out of range.

COOMBS No, really.

[Felger opens a small panel on the transporter.]

FELGER What? You want their death on your heads?

[Felger gets up, followed by Coombs and heads over to a number of cases.]

COOMBS You're just adding our deaths to theirs.

FELGER (To Meyers) Would you go?

[Meyers grimaces at Felger then turns to leave. Felger, carrying a couple of cases, and Coombs return to the transporter.]

FELGER Help me calibrate this.

COOMBS Jay, we haven't run any tests, we have no idea how stable any link will be, assuming we can even get one.

[Felger has removed a crystal from the open panel and places a probe in its place. A number of other crystals light up.]

FELGER We're not out of range.

COOMBS Jay? Are you sure about this?

FELGER Think about it, Simon. What would Colonel O'Neill do if he was here now?

[Felger hands a pistol to Coombs.]

COOMBS You want me to shoot you?

FELGER Let's go.

COOMBS All right.

[As Felger and Coombs step into the rings, they activate.]

EXT&mdash;SPACE

[The rings beam up to the mothership.]

INT&mdash;MOTHERSHIP

[As soon as the rings deposit Felger and Coombs and deactivate, Felger covers his eyes, starts shooting and turns in a circle. Coombs ducks and falls to the ground as the shooting starts. As Felger stops shooting, Coombs rises, very agitated.]

COOMBS Nicely done. We were alone, but that'll probably change now.

[Felger motions with his hand.]

FELGER Please, shh&hellip;just&hellip;okay. Area secure. Let's move out.

[Coombs, obviously not happy, follows Felger to a doorway. Both jump back as the door automatically opens. They walk through into a corridor.]

EXT&mdash;SGC CHEYENNE MOUNTAIN COMPLEX DAY

INT&mdash;SGC CONTROL ROOM

[Alarms are sounding. Davis is sitting at a terminal. Hammond comes up behind him.]

HAMMOND What've we got, Sergeant?

DAVIS It's SG-1's code, sir.

HAMMOND Open the iris.

[Hammond leaves the Control Room.]

INT&mdash;SGC GATE ROOM

[A number of armed SFs are aiming at the Stargate. Hammond enters just as Meyers comes through the gate.]

MEYERS (out of breath) SG-1&hellip;they&hellip;took&hellip;SG-1.

[Meyers virtually collapses into Hammond's arms at the bottom of the ramp.]

HAMMOND Slow down, son. Take it easy. Where's the rest of your team?

MEYERS (out of breath) Ship, lots of Jaffa, SG-1 captured, flew away, sir.

[Hammond gestures for the SFs to lower their weapons.]

HAMMOND Where are professors Felger and Coombs?

MEYERS They used the rings at the ruins to go up to the ship, to rescue SG-1.

HAMMOND They did what?

INT&mdash;MOTHERSHIP

[Coombs and Felger are crawling through a small shaft.]

COOMBS Damn it, Felger. This cannot be the way.

FELGER I swear&hellip;

[Felger stops and tries to open a panel but is unable to.]

FELGER &hellip;it's up here and to the left.

COOMBS That's what you said three lefts ago.

FELGER Head!

[Coombs hits his head on the shaft roof. Felger laughs.]

INT&mdash;MOTHERSHIP CELL

[Teal'c and O'Neill are sitting on a bench, with Jonas and Carter sitting across the room from them.]

CARTER (to Jonas) How come you're not smiling?

JONAS Should I be?

CARTER Well, it is your first time being capture by a Goa'uld.

[Both Carter and Jonas smile.]

JONAS Funny.

[Jonas sighs and lies his head back against the wall.]

JONAS So what now?

TEAL'C We wait.

JONAS Shouldn't we be trying to escape?

O'NEILL Oddly, no. It won't be long.

JONAS Before what?

O'NEILL Oh, some overdressed, over the top bad guy floats in gloating about whatever evil fate awaits us.

[Jonas nods, eyebrows raised. O'Neill pauses, listening.]

O'NEILL Wait for it.

[Both outer and inner doors to the cell open. Her'ak enters, followed by a number of Jaffa.]

O'NEILL See?

[O'Neill and Teal'c stand.]

HER'AK Colonel O'Neill. Major Carter. The so-called greatest of all Tau'ri warriors. And the Shol'va, Teal'c.

[O'Neill turns to grasp Teal'c's shoulder and pat him on the back. Her'ak turns to Jonas.]

HER'AK You, I'm not familiar with.

O'NEILL He's new.

CARTER Who are you?

HER'AK I am Her'ak, First Prime to Lord Khonsu of Amon Shek.

O'NEILL Very impressive. Got a resumé?

[Her'ak smirks.]

HER'AK I captured you.

O'NEILL Yes. Right. You did. Well done. You've got the job.

HER'AK I had been looking forward to a greater challenge than the one you provided. However, the result has yielded the same consequence. You belong to my master now.

[Her'ak and the Jaffa leave.]

O'NEILL Carter, be honest. The resumé gag&hellip;?

TEAL'C It needs work, O'Neill.

EXT&mdash;SPACE

[The mothership is heading for a wormhole.]

INT&mdash;MOTHERSHIP CORRIDOR

[A wall panel falls to the floor.]

FELGER Shhh.

COOMBS I didn't do anything.

[Coombs and Felger climb out of the vent. Felger, holding his weapon, crouches and scuttles over to the other side of the corridor.]

COOMBS You have no idea where you're going.

FELGER Of course I do.

COOMBS Oh yeah, then what were we doing in the vent?

FELGER Staying out of sight. Would you stop worrying? I've studied blueprints of these motherships. Holding cells are this way.

COOMBS Oh please, you've studied Goa'uld mothership blueprints?

FELGER Information's an SG team's greatest ally.

[As Felger crouches and scampers along the corridor, Coombs walks along.]

COOMBS You know what an SG team's greatest ally is? An SG team!

FELGER Will you relax? Okay, it's this way.

[Felger heads off, followed by Coombs. Some seconds later they return and move off down another corridor.]

FELGER No, this way.

COOMBS I'm gonna kill you.

[Felger again scampers down the corridor, weapon held up with both hands next to his face.]

COOMBS Would you quit doing that?

[Felger turns around to face Coombs.]

FELGER This?

COOMBS Don't point the gun!

[Both men head off around a corner.]

INT&mdash;MOTHERSHIP CELL

[Jonas and Carter are looking up at a large vent, obviously hearing whistling which is coming via the vent.]

JONAS Is that a bird?

TEAL'C I do not believe so.

[Teal'c and O'Neill stand. O'Neill goes over to the vent.]

FELGER (quietly, through the vent) These panels are held in place magnetically. We have to cut the power.

[O'Neill leans closer to the panel.]

O'NEILL Who is that?

FELGER Colonel O'Neill?

O'NEILL Felger?

[Felger removes the panel.]

FELGER Oh, Colonel O'Neill. Are you all right, sir?

O'NEILL (frustrated) What are you doing here?

FELGER Stand easy, we're here to rescue you.

[Felger grins.]

CARTER Did he say we?

FELGER That's right. I have Coombs with me.

[Coombs appears in the vent.]

COOMBS Hi.

O'NEILL (sarcastically) Why, look everybody, he's got Coombs with him.

FELGER You can thank us later. Right now we have to get you out.

O'NEILL (angrily) Felger! Just what part of gate home did you not understand?

FELGER Well, we just couldn't let our fellow SG team members be taken&hellip;

O'NEILL Felger!

FELGER What about never leave a man behind?

O'NEILL What about we allowed ourselves to be captured. (furious) On purpose.

COOMBS Oh.

FELGER You what?

O'NEILL We're on a mission, you nit!

[Felger and Coombs look at each other sheepishly.]

EXT&mdash;SPACE

[The mothership is heading for a wormhole.]

INT&mdash;MOTHERSHIP CELL

[O'Neill and Teal'c are glaring at Felger and Coombs, who are now out of the vent.]

FELGER Please don't be angry, we just thought&hellip;

[Felger grins nervously as Coombs points at him.]

COOMBS It was Felger all the way. His idea completely.

FELGER Okay, well, I don't understand. I mean, what do you mean you're on a mission?

CARTER The Goa'uld we're being taken to see is actually an undercover Tok'ra.

FELGER Oh, yeah Oh.

COOMBS I see. Uh, well, why the ruse?

TEAL'C Very few of Khonsu's Jaffa know his true identity. Her'ak and his men had to believe they had truly captured us.

FELGER See, I knew it was too easy. I mean, you guys have taken out more Jaffa than that before, right?

O'NEILL Carter?

CARTER Professor, we know you meant well but you've actually put us in a really awkward position.

FELGER Well, why not tell us?

O'NEILL Because you didn't need to know.

CARTER We've been on standby for weeks, waiting to hear from the Tok'ra. Now, we didn't know where or when this ambush would occur. Obviously, you weren't supposed to be there when it went down, but when we finally did get the word it was too late to send you home first.

FELGER Why didn't this Khonsu just, you know, send the intel to you? I mean, why the big song and dance?

JONAS He's collected vital information on how and where Anubis is getting his new technology.

TEAL'C As we have said, Khonsu's true loyalties are carefully hidden. He could trust no one to carry such information in his place.

CARTER He needs to remain undercover to continue his work.

O'NEILL So did we.

[Coombs thumps Felger on the arm.]

COOMBS Way to go, Felger.

FELGER Wait a minute, we got up here undetected. We haven't ruined anything yet. Nobody knows we're here.

[Teal'c turns to the door, obviously hearing footsteps,]

TEAL'C Someone approaches.

[A Jaffa and guard enter. O'Neill stands nonchalantly by a wall.]

DOL'OK I am Dol'ok, free Jaffa, loyal to Khonsu the Tok'ra.

[Carter, Teal'c and Jonas are standing shoulder to shoulder. They all nod at Dol'ok. The guard checks that no-one is approaching.]

DOL'OK Thank you for your patience.

O'NEILL What patience? Can we get our weapons back? Not that we don't trust you.

DOL'OK Soon. As you are aware, this incarceration is for your own protection. There are very few of us among the ranks but we have come to assure you that you are indeed not alone.

[Dol'ok notices two pairs of feet behind Carter, Teal'c and Jonas. Felger and Coombs show themselves either side of Teal'c.]

DOL'OK Who are they?

[Felger and Coombs duck down.]

O'NEILL Look, there's been a little bit of a mix up here. Any chance you could put these guys someplace safe, relatively secure, till this is over?

DOL'OK I will do what I can.

O'NEILL Appreciate that.

[O'Neill pats Dol'ok's shoulder.]

O'NEILL (to Felger and Coombs) Hey!

[O'Neill gestures for them to step out. Felger pauses and gives O'Neill an apologetic look. Both men follow Dol'ok and the cell doors close behind them.]

O'NEILL Oy.

EXT&mdash;KHONSU'S PLANET

[A large pyramid is in the background. In the foreground is a lake with a Stargate at the water's edge. A number of death gliders fly overhead.]

INT&mdash;KHONSU'S PYRAMID

[Her'ak appears on a large screen. A couple of guards are in the room. Khonsu steps closer to the screen.]

HER'AK As ordered, we have SG-1 alive and uninjured.

KHONSU Excellent. You have done well, Her'ak. I will be sure to tell Lord Anubis of your exemplary conduct when I relay this victory to him.

INT&mdash;MOTHERSHIP CONTROL ROOM

HER'AK My thanks. Shall I interrogate the prisoners on your behalf, my lord? Surely there is much that they can reveal?

[Khonsu appears on a large screen.]

KHONSU No. When you arrive, bring them before me. I will use my own methods to learn what they know.

HER'AK As you wish, my lord.

[As the image of Khonsu fades, Her'ak turns away and sneers.]

INT&mdash;MOTHERSHIP CARGO BAY

[Felger and Coombs are sitting behind storage crates, as another crate is moved into position to hide them.]

DOL'OK Please do not venture from this place until we have returned. Should you be discovered your lives would be forfeit.

COOMBS You got it.

FELGER You try to help people, this is the thanks you get.

COOMBS I should have shot you.

[Another crate is moved into position to completely hide them.]

EXT&mdash;SPACE

[The mothership is orbiting a planet. A transporter beam is being fed from the ship to the pyramid on the planet.]

INT&mdash;KHONSU'S PYRAMID&mdash;CORRIDOR

[Her'ak leads SG-1 through the pyramid, flanked by guards.]

O'NEILL So, when do we get to meet this old Ginsu guy?

[Her'ak opens a large doorway and SG-1 step through.]

INT&mdash;KHONSU'S PYRAMID&mdash;CELL

O'NEILL Nice.

[The room is circular, with a central platform edged with hip-high walls with three entrances. Her'ak gestures for the team to step onto the platform. Once SG-1 are on the platform, a force field flows upwards from the walls. Her'ak turns to leave. O'Neill reaches out to touch the force field, which obviously hurts.]

O'NEILL Ah! (to Carter and Teal'c) Don't touch that. (to Her'ak) Hey, Her'ak!

[Her'ak stops in the doorway and turns back to face SG-1.]

O'NEILL What, no gloating? Take some pride in your work, son.

HER'AK You shall all be forced to bow before my master soon enough.

[Her'ak and the guards leave the room. Jonas shakes his head as the door closes. O'Neill sighs and shrugs.]

O'NEILL You know, this whole imprisoned for our own protection is getting a little old.

CARTER What choice did we have? If we want this information, we have to trust Khonsu.

[O'Neill shrugs in agreement.]

INT&mdash;MOTHERSHIP CARGO BAY

[Felger and Coombs are sitting behind the crates. Felger has his head in his hands.]

COOMBS I knew I should have updated my will before agreeing to off-world assignments.

FELGER You are not going to die, Coombs.

COOMBS Oh, come on, Felger. We might as well be wearing red shirts.

FELGER I don't get that?

[Coombs is about to speak as the bay door opens. Dol'ok and another Jaffa enter. Felger and Coombs look from behind the crates. A staff blast from the corridor hits the Jaffa in the back. Dol'ok goes for his weapon but is also shot. Three Jaffa enter and the first one kicks Dol'ok.]

JAFFA Shol'va!

[The lead Jaffa looks towards the crates hiding Felger and Coombs but then all three Jaffa leave and the door closes behind them. Felger pushes aside the crates to look at Dol'ok and the dead Jaffa.]

COOMBS Oh, my God. I think I'm gonna throw up.

FELGER Oh, these poor bastards.

COOMBS Jay, I can't do this. I've gotta get out of here.

[Coombs moves from behind the crates, heading for the door.]

FELGER Simon, Simon, Simon, Simon.

[Felger grabs Coombs.]

COOMBS No! I'm not a soldier. I teach applied math at Yale! I have a vespa and two cats.

FELGER (quietly) Just get a hold of yourself! Don't you get it Simon? Jaffa do not kill each other for fun.

COOMBS They don't?

[Coombs gestures at Dol'ok.]

FELGER Okay. I don't know that for sure. I don't. But this looks like an execution. Something hinky's definitely going on here and it's up to you and I to find out what it is.

COOMBS Hinky?

FELGER Yeah, it's a word.

COOMBS In what dictionary?

FELGER I have a plan.

[Felger grins.]

EXT&mdash;KHONSU'S PLANET&mdash;STARGATE

[A number of Jaffa are guarding the area. A transporter ring activates, unloading Felger and Coombs dressed as Jaffa. They move away, passing many of the other Jaffa. Both look uncomfortable. As they reach an area with no Jaffa in sight, Coombs puts on his glasses.]

COOMBS Is it okay for me to have a heart attack now? God, I don't know why I let you talk me into this.

[They are walking though a wooded area.]

FELGER Because if we stayed on that ship we'd both be dead right now and you know it.

COOMBS Oh yeah, and we're better off down here?

FELGER When are you going to start trusting me, Simon? I have four post graduate degrees.

COOMBS And not one of them cover Jaffa military tactics.

[As they step up a slight incline, a Jaffa appears behind them.]

JAFFA What are you doing here?

[Felger and Coombs turn slowly to face the Jaffa.]

COOMBS Uh.

FELGER (put-on deeper voice) He is sick. I believe it is something he ate.

[Coombs nods then vomits. Felger zats the Jaffa.]

FELGER Nicely done, nicely done.

[Felger pats a shocked Coombs on the arm.]

COOMBS Jay, you just shot that guy. I mean you really shot him.

FELGER No, zatted, that's completely different.

COOMBS Zatted&hellip;shot&hellip;

FELGER Come on, gotta go, gotta go.

EXT&mdash;KHONSU'S PLANET&mdash;PYRAMID

INT&mdash;KHONSU'S PYRAMID&mdash;THRONE ROOM

[Khonsu is seated on the throne, with a number of Jaffa guards lining the room. Her'ak enters with several other Jaffa.]

KHONSU Her'ak.

[Her'ak stands before the throne. Felger and Coombs&mdash;no longer wearing his glasses&mdash;enter the room and stand at the back, behind a number of Jaffa.]

KHONSU Where are the prisoners?

[Her'ak does not reply. Khonsu stands.]

KHONSU Answer me. Where is SG-1?

HER'AK They are no longer your concern.

[Her'ak activates his staff weapon and shoots Khonsu, who collapses to the ground. Felger and Coombs look around in shock, as do the other Jaffa, who activate their weapons towards Her'ak. Her'ak steps up to the platform and faces the Jaffa.]

HER'AK We are betrayed, brothers. Our God was not who he claimed to be.

[Khonsu turns over onto his back.]

HER'AK Khonsu is Tok'ra.

[The Jaffa deactivate their staff weapons.]

HER'AK He would weaken us like a cancer from within, destroying our one true God. Anubis.

[Her'ak again fires on Khonsu.]

HER'AK I am in command now, until our lord returns to reward us and claim his prize. Spread the word among every rank. Be ready.

[Her'ak sits on Khonsu's throne.]

HER'AK Anubis is coming.

[SG-1 are led into the room. O'Neill looks around.]

O'NEILL Where's Khonsu?

HER'AK Khonsu is dead.

O'NEILL Dead? Completely dead or semi-dead? You guys seem to have a grey area in that regard.

HER'AK His true loyalties were well known. Once his betrayal bore fruit, his existence was no longer required.

O'NEILL You calling us fruit?

[O'Neill elbows the Jaffa standing behind him in the face. Teal'c grabs another Jaffa and his staff weapon. Another Jaffa, on the platform with Her'ak, zats both O'Neill and Teal'c, who fall to the floor. Carter and Jonas struggle but are held by Jaffa. Felger and Coombs, armed with staff weapons, stand at the rear. Her'ak smirks nastily, and picks up a pain-stick. O'Neill turns over on to his back, while Teal'c is held up by a couple of Jaffa. Her'ak steps up to O'Neill and uses the pain-stick on him. O'Neill yells in pain.]

O'NEILL Ah! Crap! I hate that thing.

[Her'ak smirks.]

HER'AK Now that, Colonel O'Neill, is what I call pride in my work.

O'NEILL Good job!

HER'AK I want names, Colonel, of all the Tok'ra hiding within Anubis' ranks.

O'NEILL Oh, ask Khonsu. Oh wait, you can't, you killed him.

[Her'ak again uses the pain-stick on O'Neill, as Jonas struggles to get free.]

HER'AK Tell me!

O'NEILL We don't know anything.

CARTER He's not lying. Our orders were to make contact with Khonsu. That's it. Any information you want died with him.

O'NEILL Forget it, Carter. He's just the warm up band and he knows it.

HER'AK No matter what you have endured, you have never experienced the likes of what Anubis is capable of.

[O'Neill stares up at Her'ak, who has returned to the platform.]

O'NEILL You ended that sentence with a preposition. Bastard!

[Carter, Jonas and Teal'c are led from the room, as O'Neill is dragged to his feet and taken out. Felger and Coombs watch them leave, looking worried.]

INT&mdash;SGC CONTROL ROOM

[Davis is seated at a terminal, with Hammond sitting next to him.]

HAMMOND That was his last transmission?

DAVIS Yes, sir.

[Hammond rises as Meyers enters.]

MEYERS Excuse me, sir. Anything on SG-1?

HAMMOND As a matter of fact, we just got a message from one of our Jaffa allies. Apparently, word has filtered through Anubis' ranks that Khonsu was exposed as a Tok'ra and that he's been murdered.

MEYERS Oh, no.

HAMMOND SG-1 is still in the custody of the Jaffa who've overthrown Khonsu and Anubis himself is on the way. There's been no mention of Felger and Coombs.

MEYERS Is there no chance of mounting some sort of rescue? I'd be happy to volunteer.

HAMMOND I appreciate that, but the planet's very heavily guarded. That was one of the reasons SG-1 had to go in undercover.

[Hammond turns to walk away.]

MEYERS Sir, with all due respect, I thought you didn't leave people behind?

HAMMOND I don't like this any more than you do, but I'm not going to send good men to their deaths for nothing, especially considering the sketchy nature of the intel we have on the situation. There's just nothing we can do at this time. I'm afraid, if SG-1 is going to get out of this mess, they're going to have to do it on their own.

INT&mdash;KHONSU'S PYRAMID&mdash;CORRIDOR

[Felger crouches around a corner and grabs Coombs who walks out, almost uncaring.]

FELGER Don't do that.

[Felger creeps through the room from pillar to pillar, followed by Coombs, who is speaking loudly.]

COOMBS All right. So maybe you did study Goa'uld mothership plans, but how can you possibly know where we're going now?

FELGER (whispering) I don't.

COOMBS Jay, this is bad.

FELGER I know!

COOMBS Look, our best shot is just to get back to SGC, tell them what happened, where SG-1 is and&hellip;

FELGER Look, even if we could get through the gate, there's no telling when Anubis will arrive. Chances are SG-1 will be long gone or dead by the time they mount a rescue mission, if they're willing to send one at all.

COOMBS Well, all right, what about SG-1 then, huh? If they're the big heroes you say they are then they can just bust themselves out.

FELGER Come on, Coombs! This op is up to us and you know it.

COOMBS Op?

FELGER Op, op, op, op! It's operation.

COOMBS Well, just say operation then. Say operation like normal people.

FELGER Keep your voice down.

[A door opens and Felger and Coombs enter a large circular room.]

FELGER We have to learn everything we can about this place, find some weakness and exploit it.

[The room appears empty, apart from a large, tall pillar.]

COOMBS Uh huh. How the heck are we supposed to do that?

[Felger walks up to the pillar and presses a button. The pillar slides open to reveal a control panel.]

COOMBS How'd you know how to do that?

FELGER Well, the writing in the hall said this was the control room.

COOMBS It did?

FELGER I thought you said you read Goa'uld.

COOMBS I do, sort of.

[Both men sit at a chair at the control panel.]

FELGER Well, this should be able to tell us everything we need to know.

[They start moving crystals around. A large holo-screen appears before them, with writings and diagrams flashing past.]

INT&mdash;KHONSU'S PYRAMID&mdash;CELL

CARTER This is not good.

FELGER (over intercom) SG-1. This is Felger.

[O'Neill bolts upright.]

FELGER (over intercom) Do you copy? Colonel O'Neill?

[SG-1 look around the room, bemused.]

O'NEILL No. This is not good.

FELGER (over intercom) Don't be mad, sir. Are you all right? Is everyone else with you?

O'NEILL Yeah. Where are you?

[O'Neill stands and looks to the ceiling.]

FELGER (over intercom) We're inside the pyramid, sir. We're hiding in the control room.

[O'Neill gestures in irritation.]

CARTER Colonel, they could have access to the pyramid security systems including force shield controls.

INT&mdash;KHONSU'S PYRAMID&mdash;CONTROL ROOM

FELGER We're working on it.

CARTER (over intercom) You should be able to bring up the pyramid schematics. Within the security system files you'll find a list of force shield codes.

[A holo-image of the pyramid appears before Felger and Coombs.]

COOMBS Yeah, there's a lot of stuff here, Major. Okay

O'NEILL (over intercom) Felger, we need weapons.

COOMBS (to Felger) Um, looks like there's an armoury at the end of the hall.

[Felger rises to leave.]

COOMBS (to Felger) Either that or a bathroom.

[Felger turns back to Coombs.]

FELGER Wwh&hellip;

COOMBS I can do this.

[Coombs moves to the centre of the chair and gestures Felger away.]

FELGER (into intercom) On my way, sir.

[Felger grins and laughs.]

FELGER (To Coombs) You get the shield down and use your radio from now on.

[Felger leaves and Coombs presses buttons on the panel.]

COOMBS This is unbelievable. Everything is in here.

INT&mdash;KHONSU'S PYRAMID&mdash;CELL

O'NEILL Coombs. What's going on?

COOMBS (over intercom) I've almost got it.

[The force field de-activates.]

O'NEILL Nice.

[O'Neill pauses where the force field used to be, waves his hand through the area then moves forward when he is not shocked by the force field.]

O'NEILL Nice.

[As O'Neill reaches the doorway, he gestures for Teal'c to stand opposite him so that they are flanking the door. As the door opens, Teal'c moves to attack the newcomer but pulls back when he sees that it's Felger. Felger drops a number of zats which he is carrying. Carter and Teal'c pick up the zats, and Felger hands one to Jonas. O'Neill grabs Felger's arm.]

O'NEILL All right, look professor, this little stunt of yours does not excuse the fact that you disobeyed a direct order. From me. Twice.

[Felger, looking sheepish, removes the Jaffa skull cap.]

O'NEILL Do it again I'll shoot you. Are we&hellip;?

[Felger responds quickly.]

FELGER &hellip;Crystal.

O'NEILL Good.

FELGER Do you wanna hear the rest of my plan?

[Felger grins at O'Neill.]

COOMBS (over the intercom) Our plan.

FELGER (via radio) I said stay on the radio.

O'NEILL Just&hellip;tell me what you know.

FELGER Okay. There's a shield around the pyramid. The Stargate's outside that.

CARTER So Coombs could get the shield down.

FELGER Right. Then all we have to do is take out the Jaffa guarding the gate. Coombs can ring himself out to the ring platform and then we all go home.

[Felger laughs.]

FELGER Piece of cake.

O'NEILL We take out the Jaffa.

FELGER We&hellip;as in you.

O'NEILL How many?

FELGER A dozen, tops.

O'NEILL A dozen?

FELGER Yeah, and they got some of those really big guns.

O'NEILL Good plan, Felger, good plan.

FELGER Come on, you're SG-1, this is what you do.

[Jonas, Carter and Teal'c look at each other as O'Neill ponders.]

O'NEILL Right.

[O'Neill leads the others out of the cell.]

INT&mdash;KHONSU'S PYRAMID&mdash;CORRIDOR

[O'Neill walks down the pillar-lined room, followed by the others.]

O'NEILL (via radio, quietly) Coombs, talk to me.

INT&mdash;KHONSU'S PYRAMID&mdash;CONTROL ROOM

[Coombs is studying a map on the holo-imager before him.]

COOMBS (into radio) Okay, hang another left and then two rights and then there'll be a door and beyond that is daylight.

INT&mdash;KHONSU'S PYRAMID&mdash;ROOM

[O'Neill gestures for Carter and Felger to go to the doorway. Carter enters a code but the door remains closed. She turns to O'Neill, shrugging.]

O'NEILL Felger?

FELGER (into radio) Coombs?

INT&mdash;KHONSU'S PYRAMID&mdash;CONTROL ROOM

[Coombs is obviously frustrated. He pulls off his skull cap.]

COOMBS (into radio) I'm sorry. This coding is very confusing. Just wait a second.

[Coombs presses some more buttons.]

INT&mdash;KHONSU'S PYRAMID&mdash;ROOM

[Felger is staring at O'Neill.]

O'NEILL What?

[Felger walks up to O'Neill as Carter enters another code on the door panel.]

FELGER I can't believe that I'm here&hellip;with you&hellip;like this. It's&hellip;

O'NEILL Yeah, I'm having the same problem.

FELGER This is great! You know, sneaking around with you guys in a Goa'uld pyramid on some alien planet. The only thing missing is some Jaffa chasing us.

[Teal, who has been guarding the doorway into the room, enters and stands behind a pillar. Footsteps can be heard.]

TEAL'C O'Neill.

FELGER Okay, that's not my fault because there's no possible&hellip; (into radio) Simon? Simon, hurry up, we've got company.

INT&mdash;KHONSU'S PYRAMID&mdash;CONTROL ROOM

COOMBS Wait, wait, wait!

[Coombs is urgently reading the holo-image.]

INT&mdash;KHONSU'S PYRAMID&mdash;ROOM

[O'Neill grabs Felger's radio.]

O'NEILL Give me that. (into radio) Now! Coombs.

INT&mdash;KHONSU'S PYRAMID&mdash;CONTROL ROOM

[Coombs presses a number of buttons on the panel.]

COOMBS I got it!

INT&mdash;KHONSU'S PYRAMID&mdash;ROOM

[The door opens and Felger leaves, followed by SG-1. A number of Jaffa enter the room but walk through, without noticing the open door.]

INT&mdash;KHONSU'S PYRAMID&mdash;CONTROL ROOM

COOMBS (into radio) Shield is down.

EXT&mdash;KHONSU'S PLANET&mdash;FOREST

FELGER Way to go, Simon!

O'NEILL (furious) Shush. (into radio) Get your ass to the nearest ring transport and wait for my signal.

INT&mdash;KHONSU'S PYRAMID&mdash;CONTROL ROOM

[Coombs switches off the panel and runs over to the doorway.]

COOMBS Thank you, thank you, thank you. You've been a great audience, but I really must be&hellip;

[The door opens to reveal a number of Jaffa on the other side. Coombs reaches over to the panel to close the door.]

JAFFA You! Stop!

COOMBS Staying. God.

[Coombs runs to hide behind the control panel.]

EXT&mdash;KHONSU'S PLANET&mdash;STARGATE AREA

[The area is guarded by a number of Jaffa.]

O'NEILL Well, he wasn't kidding, that's a lot of Jaffa. Carter, Jonas, your target is that centre gun placement.

CARTER Yes, sir.

O'NEILL Teal'c, you're with me. (pointedly, to Felger) Now, is there anything else we need to discuss?

FELGER No, sir, No, sir. I'm going to stay in this very spot. Even if I see you writhing in agony, calling my name, I'll be here.

O'NEILL Exactly. On my signal, get Coombs out here.

[O'Neill hands the radio to Felger, then SG-1 move out. Jonas and Carter zat a couple of Jaffa as O'Neill zats two more. As another Jaffa walks alongside the lake, Teal'c launches out of the water, drags the Jaffa under and kills him.]

COOMBS (over radio) Jay&hellip;uh&hellip;I've got a problem here.

FELGER (into radio) Shhh.

INT&mdash;KHONSU'S PYRAMID&mdash;CONTROL ROOM

[A large crack appears in the door as the Jaffa ram against it. Coombs is sitting down behind the control panel.]

COOMBS (into radio) I think I need a little help.

EXT&mdash;KHONSU'S PLANET&mdash;STARGATE AREA

[More of the Jaffa are shot down. As Carter and Jonas near the large gun placement, they are fired upon. The Jaffa swivels the large weapon around towards them. They put up their hands as they see this, but before the Jaffa can fire, the weapon explodes. Teal'c, standing at another large gun, has fired on the Jaffa. He turns the gun towards more Jaffa, as O'Neill continues to zat even more.]

O'NEILL Clear?

[Carter and Jonas run towards him.]

CARTER Clear, sir.

O'NEILL Teal'c?

[Teal'c runs in from another direction.]

TEAL'C The area is secure for the moment, O'Neill.

FELGER (yelling) Colonel O'Neill. Colonel O'Neill! Colonel O'Neill.

[Felger runs towards them.]

O'NEILL What are you doing? Get Coombs out here.

FELGER There's a slight problem there, sir. He's stuck.

INT&mdash;KHONSU'S PYRAMID&mdash;CONTROL ROOM

[The crack in the door is now much larger.]

COOMBS (into radio) Jay. I don't think I'm gonna make it out of here. You just go, you take care of my cats, okay?

EXT&mdash;KHONSU'S PLANET&mdash;STARGATE AREA

FELGER (into radio) No, no, no, no, Simon. I got us into this mess. If you're staying, I'm staying too.

O'NEILL No one's staying! Can he ring us in?

FELGER (into radio) Coombs, can you ring Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c into the pyramid?

COOMBS (over radio) I'll try.

[O'Neill and Teal'c stand inside the ring platform.]

O'NEILL (to Carter) Give us five minutes and then&hellip;

[They are ringed up.]

INT&mdash;KHONSU'S PYRAMID&mdash;CONTROL ROOM

[As the crack in the door widens further, Coombs, now hiding behind the chair, hears zats firing outside the door. The battering at the door stops. Coombs walks closer to the doorway but jumps back when the hammering starts again. As the door collapses, Coombs, almost in tears, sees O'Neill on the other side.]

O'NEILL Let's go home.

COOMBS Oh, thank God!

EXT&mdash;KHONSU'S PLANET&mdash;STARGATE AREA

[O'Neill, Coombs and Teal'c are ringed back outside. They run to the Stargate, where Carter, Jonas and Felger are standing at the top of the steps. As they run, they are fired on.]

FELGER Simon, are you okay?

O'NEILL Later!

[Felger and Carter go through the gate. A number of Jaffa run towards the Stargate, firing. As Jonas, Coombs and Teal'c enter the gate, O'Neill stops at the top, turns to Her'ak who is leading the Jaffa, shrugs and smiles. A staff blast hits the Stargate and O'Neill jumps back then goes through the gate.]

EXT&mdash;SGC CHEYENNE MOUNTAIN COMPLEX DAY

EXT&mdash;SGC GATEROOM

[Felger and Coombs enter the festooned gate room and step up the red-carpeted ramp to a podium at the foot of the Stargate. Carter, O'Neill and Hammond are at the podium. A number of personnel are also in the gate room.]

HAMMOND For bravery in the face of grave danger, I hereby award Simon Coombs and Jay Felger, each, the Air Force Civilian Award for Valour.

[O'Neill removes two medals from their boxes and turns to face Coombs and Felger. He places the medal on Coombs first.]

O'NEILL Despite the fact that you gentlemen disobeyed my orders, which, in my little world, constitutes screwing up&hellip;twice. The truth is, we wouldn't be here without you. You are true heroes.

FELGER Thank you, Colonel.

[O'Neill shakes hands with both Felger and Coombs. Meyers, in the crowd, puts both thumbs up to them. Carter shakes Coombs' hand and kisses him on the cheek as the crowd starts to applaud. She shakes Felger's hand then holds his face in both hands and gives him a long kiss on the mouth.]

COOMBS (as the kiss is going on) Felger!

EXT&mdash;SGC LAB

COOMBS Felger, Jay.

[Coombs pokes Felger in the cheek.]

FELGER Ow. What?

COOMBS Snap out of it.

FELGER Yeah, sorry.

COOMBS Calibration scales for the ring power source?

[Felger hands Coombs a clipboard.]

FELGER Right there, right&hellip;there.

COOMBS Geek.

FELGER Nerd.

FADE OUT

CLOSING CREDITS

Transcribed for Stargate Solutions by Helen 30 November 2004

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