Desperate Measures

"Desperate Measures" is the eleventh episode of the fifth season of Stargate SG-1.

Synopsis
Major Samantha Carter is kidnapped by masked assailants, who also took a symbiote from the Russians. The rest of SG-1 do all they can to find her. Meanwhile, she finds out who is responsible for her kidnapping: Adrian Conrad, who is dying and wants to experiment on her, so he can take a symbiote to cure him of all illness, and then remove it safely.

Plot
A truck full of Russian soldiers is ambushed and slaughtered by unknown men posing as Russian soldiers conducting an inspection. One of the killers enters the vehicle and finds a man with a tattooed forehead, presumably a Jaffa.

Major Samantha Carter is kidnapped by men in black ("ninjas") using a white van. SG-1 suspects NID. Colonel Jack O'Neill contacts Harold Maybourne, who denies responsibility and points the finger at "user 4574" (which Dr. Daniel Jackson recognizes as Colonel Frank Simmons). O'Neill contacts Simmons, who also denies responsibility and points the finger back at Maybourne, who has been the recipient of three million dollars from a numbered offshore account. SG-1 learns that the account is owned by Zeditron Industries, run by a businessman named Adrian Conrad.

O'Neill learns through Maybourne that he had arranged to obtain a Goa'uld symbiote from a Russian SG team for an unknown purpose. All Maybourne knows is where it was delivered: to immunology Dr. Neil Brooks. Breaking into the doctor's computer, Jack and Maybourne retrieve Conrad's medical records.

It turns out that the symbiote was purchased by Conrad to heal his life-threatening disease, which is in the final stages. Conrad is staying in an abandoned hospital in Seattle, Saint Christina's. SG-1 and the local surround the hospital and prepare to rescue Carter.

In the hospital, Conrad's doctors put him in restraints and implant him with the Goa'uld. The doctors then leave to study Carter's brain tissue (so they can learn how to remove the symbiote). Just as the doctors are about to administer a fatal injection to Carter, O'Neill and Maybourne come in and stop the procedure.

Meanwhile Conrad (or the symbiote pretending to be Conrad) sweet-talks his executive assistant, Diana Mendez, into releasing him. Daniel and Teal'c find that the Goa'uld had escaped, so SG-1 begins scouring the hospital to find him.

O'Neill corners the Goa'uld in the basement, but is shot in the back by Simmons. Simmons then takes the Goa'uld to one of NID's facilities for his own purposes.

Carter finds O'Neill in the basement, and the team finds that Maybourne managed to escape the hospital. Since nobody was aware of Simmons's presence, O'Neill assumes it was Maybourne.

Notable Quotes
(After Carter is kidnapped by the men in black)

Homeless man: ...Ninjas!

Maybourne: I played a lot of hide and seek as a kid. I could always find anyone, anywhere, but they could never find me.

O'Neill: Because they didn't want to.

Jackson: So, you think Maybourne's a fan of Godzilla movies?

O'Neill: He strikes me more of a Mothra guy.

Jackson: Don't get it.

O'Neill: The NID agents use these sites to post coded messages. If I know Maybourne, he's keeping tabs on his old buddies.

Jackson: Okay. What kind of message do you want to send?

O'Neill: Make it, "Hutch, we need to talk." Sign it Starsky. He'll understand.

Maybourne: You know we make a pretty good team, Jack.

O'Neill: Shut up.

Maybourne: I'm just saying, if you ever get tired of the SGC you could make more money than you ever dreamed of.

O'Neill: Hey. G Gordon. Don't give me another reason to shoot you.

Conrad: I expect better treatment than this.

Simmons: Well right now you have no choice. But once you start delivering on your end of our little bargain, I might be able to move you to better accommodations.

Conrad: You do not offer anything of equal value to the knowledge I possess.

Simmons: I'm not so sure about that.

Goofs

 * When Harold Maybourne and Colonel Jack O'Neill free Major Samantha Carter, Carter says that the cuff keys are in his (the doctors) pocket. However she doesn't specify which doctor and which pocket, yet Maybourne is able to get the key.

Character

 * Adrian Conrad
 * Adrian Conrad's Goa'uld

In other languages

 * French: Ultime Recours (Last Resort)
 * Italian: Decisione Disperata (Desperate Decision)
 * Spanish: Medidas Desesperadas (Desperate Mesures)
 * Czech: Zoufalé řešení (Desperate Solutions)